


2045

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:00:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22828327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: Eliott and Lucas are dads. Their child turns 17 and leaves home to go to sport-studies.Are they ready for that?
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 19
Kudos: 46





	1. Dont' be sad

**Author's Note:**

> I don't speak fluent English, sorry for the mistakes.
> 
> I've had this story in my head for a while, so I'm clearing my head. I hope you like it. Feel free to comment
> 
> Have fun ;-)

Eliott gently opens his eyes. He sees the hour and wonders what woke him up so early. Then he feels her husband's arms hugging him gently again. Eliott puts his right arm around her husband's shoulders so that he can put his head on his shoulder blade. He kisses the chestnut hair he loves so much and hears her sigh.

''Hello, baby. Everything's all right, you know?"

Her amazing husband sighs again but nods his head. Eliott can't help smiling. Lucas is always so dramatic... but Eliott loves him so much, he thinks it's so cute.

"Our baby's 17." Lucas moans as he hugs Elliot. 

He wraps his arm around Eliott's waist, tying their legs together. And then Elliot starts laughing softly.

"If he hears you say it's a baby, he's not gonna be too happy."

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, looks up at the sky and puts his head into Eliot's chest.

"It's always gonna be my baby..." Lucas sighs again. "Our baby's leaving in three days. But what did we do wrong? At his age, I would have paid dearly for a loving family. And he just wants to leave... but why can't he be more like us?"

It's Elliot's turn to look up. Here we go again. Lucas has been on a loop since their son told them about boarding school. Elliot turns on his side so he can take her husband as much as possible against him and wrap his whole body around him.

''Lucas, we talked about it. He wants to do what he loves. He's safe enough to leave the house peacefully knowing that we still love him.... It's the role of every parent to let their bird leave the nest. And then he'll be here every weekend. Imagine when Elena's leaving."

Lucas steps back to see if Eliott is serious. But, yes, he is. Of course he is.

"I'm gonna lock him in his room till he's 30," Lucas grumbles and then smiles.

And then Eliott laughs and then puts his lips on Lucas' lips. It's a sweet kiss, wanting to show him all the love he has for him.

''I love you so much, Lucas. Who knew you'd be the most protective father of us both? "

Lucas lets out a big sigh.

"This is so hard!" Lucas grumbles. "I think this is the hardest part of being a parent."

Eliott laughs again.

"You say that every step of the way, baby."

Lucas is clutching his arms to his chest, a little hurt. He doesn't feel like he's said that so many times. Eliott kisses him on the temple, cheek, shoulder, arm, then hugs him.

''Don't sulk, baby. That's right, I don't. If we forget about baby time because of the short nights and the dirty diapers, and if we forget about their whole hospital history... ...you said that the first time Elena wanted to go to the ladies' toilets at the restaurant."

Lucas sits in the bed and brings his knees to his chest. Elena knows this is one of the worst times Lucas has ever had with the kids.

''It was horrible,'' moans Lucas, ''you have no idea. Our almost four-year-old little chip who asks me why I always take him to the boys' toilets. And the old lady comes out of nowhere and says, _"You'll go with your mommy."_ You didn't see the old lady's face when she said _"I don't have a mommy"_. She seemed so sorry for us. She even put her hand on my shoulder. Until Elena said _"but I have two dads, so there's no need."_ You should have seen the horrified look on the lady's face and at the speed she took her hand away, as if I was burning it. Not to mention _"This should be reported to Social Services."_ "

Eliott wipes the tears from Lucas' eyes and pulls him up against it.

''Hey Lucas. It's all right. I didn't mean to make you sad. I was just telling you that we've been through some tough times before. It's been hard for me, too, you know. But today, everything's okay. Our son is 17! Must be a happy day. Yeah, he'll be leaving in a few days, cause he's a hard worker. He's good at school, good at sports and doesn't do anything stupid yet. And the way we were at his age, we can consider ourselves very happy."

Lucas is sniffing around in Elliot's shirt. The sound of the front door slamming makes them smile. They don't even have to look at the alarm clock to know it's 6:45 a.m. But what 17-year-old kid leaves at 6:45 every morning to go for a run? Apparently theirs.  
Eliott hugs Lucas and he gives him a tender kiss before he gets up. Lucas takes advantage of the calm to slip into the shower while her husband makes coffee. It's their morning ritual. When Lucas comes down the stairs, he is showered, dressed and in a better mood. Eliott is right, their son is fine. Their family is fine. He looks at the pictures hanging on the hallway wall. 

The first one is the first picture they took of the two of them, in February 2019... Twenty-six years have passed far too quickly for his taste. But he smiles. He smiles as he looks at the 17-year-old Lucas, who didn't even hope to have all this. If he's being honest, he was hoping to have Eliott in his life forever, but he was sure that wouldn't happen.   
Eliott puts his arms around Lucas and kisses him on the neck. Lucas turns around to kiss him as he slips his hands through his shaggy hair. A few seconds later, Lucas is lifted from the ground and wraps his legs around Eliott's waist while still kissing him. He feels like Elliot's hands are all over him. Maybe it's not just a feeling.

"Get a room," laughs the male voice behind them. 

Eliott steps back, gently resting Lucas on to the floor. He runs one hand through his hair while Lucas pulls his shirt. Eliott opens his arms and takes his son against him.

''Happy Birthday, Paul.'' They say in chorus.

Paul takes his left arm out of Elliot's embrace so he can throw it around Lucas.

''Thank you, dads." He turns to Lucas and puts both hands on his shoulders. "Come on, Dad, it's a good day. Don't be sad.''

Lucas is acting outraged.

"I'm not sad."

But Paul shrugs his shoulders and takes him in his arms.

"I know you, Daddy."

Lucas won't say it, but he'll never get used to their son being taller than him. Lucas is coming to his ear now, and Paul is still growing. Lucas steps back and looks at his son smiling. He is just perfect. His skin is golden, like he's still tan. His black hair is cut short because Paul hates his curly hair. His eyes are the deepest black and he still has his big smile on his lips. Lucas can't even see the scar that runs from his right nostril to his son's lip because he's so used to it. 

"It's time for the birthday hug?" Elena asks, jumping up to join them. Her frizzy hair is totally unkempt this morning. "Don't be sad, Daddy."

"I'm not sad," repeats Lucas.

And yet the four of them are cuddled up in a big hug in the middle of the hallway. Just like every birthday.

"Let's do it again in four months," laughs Paul as he walks away.

Lucas' smile disappears again. Elena will be 13 in December. Eliott puts a gentle kiss on her cheek to restore her smile and leaves for the shower.  
The four of them meet around the breakfast table and talk about the coming weekend.

At lunchtime, family and friends come to celebrate Paul's birthday. They already know how it's going to be. Granny is going to tell how happy she was the first time she saw little Paul, a few weeks old; while Grandma is still going to say how she thought she would never have grandchildren when she found out that her son was going to marry Lucas, and how this family is a miracle, until Grandpa shut her up by telling her that she is babbling.   
Yann being Paul's godfather, he will give her the perfect gift, while Basile will give her something totally out of place, and maybe embarrassing. This will embarrass Paul, Daphne and Lila, their 16-year-old daughter. Mika will wait until the kids are busy to tell embarrassing details about the dads, while Alexia and Emma will laugh and Camille will try to shut him up. Imane will call them in face-time, and Elena will ask him lots of questions about his missions as a doctor without borders. Then it will be Arthur's turn to call from Germany. .

Tonight Paul will have the house to himself and his friends. Lucas tells him the basic rules, which he already knows by heart. Elena will sleep at Alexandra, his best frienddra, . Eliott and Lucas will spend the night at Basile and Daphne's house.

Indeed, the day goes exactly as Lucas and Eliott had says. Even if they hadn't foreseen that Mika will end up in the emergency room with a broken wrist trying to stop Paul's penalty shoot-out. It's not really Paul's fault. At least that's what Mika said as she walked into the house, explaining to her husband how her wrist broke on the post of the football goal. But Mika remaining Mika, he left with a big smile, thanking Paul for allowing him to get Camille's attention for several weeks.

"Ok'' said Lucas as he picked up his coat, looking at Paul, Lila and Ambre. Ambre has been Paul's best friend since kindergarten, and also their neighbor. "No drugs, no alcohol, no cops."

Elliot laughs as he pushes him into the hallway.

"No cops," he repeats with a smile, "be reasonable with alcohol. If your head starts spinning, drink water. If you smoke, only draw one at a time. If one passes out, you put him in the shower."

"Eliott" indignant Lucas as if he's giving them ideas.

Eliott looks at him and shrugs his shoulders.

"17, baby!" he reminds him, "and no sex in our bedroom."

"No sex at all," Basile yells from outside.

"No sex at all," confirms Lucas, giving Eliott a glare.

Eliott puts on his jacket and greets the kids.

''Not in your sister's bed either.'' He says as he walks out the door.

"Dads?" asks Paul softly.

The two men turn around and smile.

"Thank you." he says nodding his head. "We'll just order some pizza, you know." Paul says again.

"All right," confirms Lucas as he takes Elliot's hand.

''And have an orgy in the living room since your room is off-limits'' said Paul without flinching before laughing at his father's defeated look.

"You have condoms in the bathroom, under the sink" says Eliott very naturally while Lucas slaps his arm.

Paul closes the door with a laugh. His fathers are really messed up sometimes. Sometimes he wonders what they were doing, at his age, to be so freaked out. And then he remembers that he'd rather not know. Mika's many anecdotes are more than enough for him.

He joins the girls around the kitchen table.

"Did I hear what your father said?" Ambre asks, laughing.

"Yep," confirms Paul, "you can have some if you want."

Ambre's staring at him to see if he's laughing, but no, he's very serious.

"I'm not."

"I know" stops him, Paul, "but I also know your parents will never buy you one. My dads have been putting condoms on the open market since I was 15. So if you need them, just yo do."

Lila starts laughing.

"My parents do this when I was 14..."

The three friends start laughing and Paul goes out for three beers. It's not long before Lucy and Louna arrive. Of course, Emile is the last one to arrive, as always. His brown hair is a mess of untamed curls, as usual. He's not much shorter than Paul but he keeps reminding him that he's four days older.  
They spend the evening laughing, drinking beers and stuffing themselves with pizza and candy, while watching the movies Paul got for his birthday. They play Truth or Dare, at Emile's request and stop when Emile falls down the stairs and misses spraining his ankle.  
Around 3h a.m, the girls prepare a chocolate cake and half of it is eaten before they can go into the oven. Paul and Emile love the cake batter. 

''You really had to go to your sports school?'' Emile asks, pushing his shoulder gently.

Paul shrugs his shoulders and tries not to be too enthusiastic so as not to hurt his friends. Especially Emile.

''This is going to be great. I hope it is. I'm gonna miss you guys, but I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy it. And then I'm gonna play. I'm gonna play every day. It's just a dream. And I'll see you on the weekends."

Lucie is holding Emile close to her. "I'll be there, me."

Emile gives her a gentle kiss and then shrugs his shoulders. ''I know, baby. But he's my best friend. No, he's my little brother."

Paul grabs her hand and squeezes it.

''Hey, I'm not gonna die. I'm just going to sport's school."

Emile throws himself in her arms and sniffs her neck.

''You're going to a boys' boarding school. You're gonna find another best friend."

Paul takes him by the shoulders and pulls him back to face him.

"Never. You've been my best friend for 11 years, man. I love you and I'd only love you that way. You're irreplaceable.''

Louna and Lila come into the living room and start laughing.

''Okay. Frankly, then you're surprised your dads ask you if you're in love." Louna laughs.

Paul turns to her and frowns.

''I can comfort my best mate without wanting to fuck him.'' He says in a slightly aggressive tone.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down," says Lila as she enters the living room. "We're just kidding around."

"Come on, champ," announces Ambre, taking her beer from her hands. "If you get angry, you've had enough."

"I love you too, Paulo," says Emile, taking him in his arms.

Ambre comes and sits next to Paul and slips her hand into his. 

''I know your dads get mad at you for wanting to know if you're dating and they think you're lying to them, but we don't care. We really don't."

Louna comes and sits behind Amber and wraps her arms around her waist... 

''I swear I didn't mean to upset you.'' She says quietly, putting her head on Ambre's shoulder.

Amber starts laughing.

''My best friend girl would never want to piss off my best friend boy, right.''

Louna shakes her head and makes puppy dog eyes at Paul, who laughs.

''It's okay. Sorry, guys. I'm a little nervous about going to this school."

"Why you apply there?" sulks Emile.

"I swear it won't change anything between us." 

Silence falls on the living room before Paul bursts out laughing, followed by his friends. He turns to Louna, laughing.

"Okay." He admits, "It's true it sounds confusing. But it's not confusing. Shit, nobody's wondering about you two."

Paul shows Ambre leaning against Louna.

"It's called toxic masculinity," laughs Louna. "You're going to die in boarding school."

Ambre gives her a sorry look and Paul looks up to the sky. Ambre knows he's had a lot of hesitation because of that. Emile is like his brother, and they really have no boundaries in their display of affection. They hug each other, hold hands if one of them is sad, walk with their arms around each other, kiss each other. Just like Paul does with Ambre, in fact.

They end up falling asleep on the living room floor. 

Lucas is the first one to go into the house. It's almost noon but everything is really quiet. In the living room, the six friends are sleeping on the floor, tangled up inside each other. Beer bottles are left all over the place and pizza boxes are lying on the living room table. 

Eliott wraps around her husband's waist and kisses his neck.

"See, they've been good."

Lucas nods his head and smiles.

''Sometimes it's good he doesn't look like us.'' Lucas says, leaning against her husband.


	2. First day

"If you change your mind" starts Lucas "anytime".

"Dad" cuts Paul "I know."

Lucas looks at his son sitting in the passenger seat. He looks stressed, but Lucas probably looks worse. 

''I'm sure most of the parents in the other cars are saying, _''You chose to come here. You made a commitment for the year, so even though it's hard, you hang in there!""_

Paul hears his dad laughing in the backseat and sees him put his hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"We're not most parents," Lucas says.

"No kidding?" 

Paul blames himself right away. He looks at his dads, shameful.

''Sorry. I'm just stressed out. I love you dads. I didn't mean it like that. I just..."

"All right, buddy," Eliott says softly, "we know what you mean."

Paul puts his hand on Lucas' arm, and Lucas puts his car in reverse to park.

"Daddy?"

Lucas finishes the maneuver, turns off the engine and looks at his son, smiling.

''If you're trying to piss me off so I'll be happy to leave you alone, it's a waste of time,'' he says. ''I know what you meant. We love you, too. Anytime, son. Okay?"

"Okay."

They get out of the car and they look at the big building in front of them. Eliott pulls the suitcase out of the trunk and carries it to the front porch. Lucas looks at the other students. Some of them are crying. Lucas looks at his son laughing with Elliot. Maybe everything will be okay after all.   
They have the right to accompany him to the lobby. The students settle alone in their rooms, so as not to clutter the corridors.   
Lucas hugs his son one last time while Elliot gives him one last pat on the back. 

''Call us tonight.'' asks Lucas without letting go of his son.

''Dad, no cell phones are allowed, you know that.'' Paul says softly, looking up at the sky. ''I told you I'm leaving mine at home so I don't have to give it away.''

"Don't roll your eyes at me," moans Lucas as he steps back.

He's smiling at his son's head. He knows him so well.

''Okay. Lucas, I have to be at the workshop at 10 o'clock. See you Friday, big boy."

Paul watches his dads go out again, hand in hand. Next to him, a student is comforting his crying mother. The poor boy looks red with shame. Paul gives him a sorry look and goes to the room where the first ones are expected.

There, Paul feels lonely. Most of the boys have known each other since the second grade. But last year, Paul wasn't ready to leave home. Now he regrets his choice a little. He watches the guys greet each other and punch each other in the fists while laughing and sighing softly.   
He finds a place in the middle of the lecture hall. The director is not long in coming to introduce himself.

''This year we've made a lot of changes. We decided to break up the sports teams to create cohesion within the whole school. So, you won't be surprised to find out that you've all changed roommates. You will no longer be two on the same team in the same room. That way, you can open your circle of friends to other sportsmen and women."

Shouts of disappointment can be heard throughout the room.

''Oh, keep it down. That's the way it is, and that's it. The schedule's changed, too. You'll have joint workouts in the morning. In turn, every morning except Wednesday, you'll have football, rugby, basketball or swimming, by room. Your schedules are waiting for you on your room doorstep. Make yourself comfortable. The cafeteria is open from 11.30am to 1.30pm and classes will start at 2pm today. Welcome to all."

The students stand up, most of them grumbling. The girls go to the left, while the boys take the corridor to the right. Paul follows them, dragging his suitcase. He's anxious to know who he's sharing a room with. In his head, he can't help thinking ' _not rugby, not rugby, not rugby..._. He knows it's silly, that not all rugby players are thick brutes, but he can't help thinking that. 

When his eyes land on the board, he doesn't have to look long. He's in the second bedroom in the hallway. 

**Room 202: Demaury-football- Mallay-rugby.**

A _"oh Shit"_ comes out of the mouth of his neighbor. He turns around abruptly and looks at a really frail boy. He's almost as tall as he is, but he looks extremely thin. His bag thrown over his shoulder seems to be as heavy as he is. His hair goes all over the place, and is as blond as Paul's hair is black: to the extreme. He is wearing black jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt with the words "don't speak" on it. His eye is as black as his clothes.   
The only thing that stands out are his white and golden converses that make Paul smile as he watches him leave.   
Paul is quickly brought back to reality by the students who jostle him and leaves the crowd to go up to the second floor. 

He is quite worried about having to share his room with a boy. Even more worried now that he knows he's a rugby player. He's afraid of discovering a muscular, borderline bodybuilder who only thinks about his muscles and the oval ball. He's afraid that a manly boy will share his room and find him too effeminate.  
He likes to spend time playing piano, watching romantic movies and has no shame in front of him crying...no shame at home, but he knows that most boys don't do that at 17. Emile does. And so does Ambre. But here, Paul knows he needs to be less... less himself.

Besides, for the Demaury he is, he's neither organized nor careful. His room is never tidy. His father keeps saying he gets it from Lucas when he's the messier of the two. His studio is a nameless mess, only he calls it "an organized mess.   
Paul laughs a lot because he knows they have no genes in common. But there's a lot more to family than genes, and he knows that.

When the floor cracks behind him, he turns around and jumps to discover the black shadow of the boy he heard earlier. The boy stands outside the bathroom and watches him without a smile.

"Uh..." he finally says in a dry voice "Actually, that's my bed."

''Ah'' says Paul looking at the bed, ''I didn't know... I thought we lived in a democracy.'' 

He wanted it to sound like a joke, but maybe his voice is a little too aggressive for that. 

''Actually, that was my bed last year. I already had this room. Alone." The boy's voice gets angry, which makes Paul angry.

''So, since I'm the new guy, should I take the leftovers?'' That sounds like a statement. The boy, still in profile, gives him a black look and Paul starts to lift his suitcase.

''No, that's OK, I'll take the other one'' says the guy, putting his bag on the other bed. ''You're right.''

''Okay. Cool. Paul, by the way."

With no answer, Paul turns around and realizes the boy has already left. He comes back two minutes later with his headphones on. Paul stows his things in the closet and leaves the room as quickly as possible. 

He hits a boy. It's the boy whose mother was crying earlier. His name is Allan and he's going to be in 201. Allan's in rugby. He's really small, but very muscular. He's light brown and wears his long hair in a ponytail, but that doesn't make him look feminine. At all. He's going to share his room with Dimitri, who's in basketball. He looks one head taller than Paul. His skin is black, the deepest there is, and his hair is as frizzy as Elena's. This makes him smile and he thinks about his sister. Maybe that's why there's an instant sympathy between the three boys.

All three of them eat lunch. Allan and Dimitri explain to Paul how the school works and everything he needs to know. They break up for French class and Paul sees his roommate scribbling on a piece of paper at the back of the classroom. At 3 p.m., he finally meets the other football players for their three hours of weekly football.   
He goes wild on the field and quickly joins the team. Léon, the team captain is really nice. Paul wants to play as a centre forward and he's going to have to show that he deserves it.

After a quick shower, he joins Allan and Dimitri for dinner. Paul looks at the football team from the corner of his eye and realizes that a lot of the players are eating with the guys from the other teams.

"Hi Allan'' says a young blonde girl sitting at their table, accompanied by a little brunette.

Allan lifts his head from the tray and smiles.

''Hi, Sophie. Sophie's with me in maths," Allan says to the boys.

The guys introduce themselves to Sophie, and Miriam, her roommate. Sophie's swimming, and Marie's dancing. 

Marie settles down next to Paul and they spend the meal discussing boarding school and classes. She is really funny and makes Paul and Dimitri laugh several times. Sophie doesn't take her eyes off Allan during the whole meal, and Allan doesn't even notice, which makes it even funnier for his friends.

When he arrives in his room, surprised that he hasn't seen his roommate at dinner, the room is plunged into darkness. He immediately thinks of his father, who would hate it, and how his falsely offended voice sounds, _"I'm not afraid of the dark."_

He takes off his shoes with a smile on his face, but not a sound, and changes into his clothes before he goes to what has become his new bed. In the bed next door, only the boy's blond hair protrudes from the huge blanket covering him. It's only 9 p.m., but Paul falls asleep without thinking.

The rhythm is the same every day: training from 6:45 to 7:45 a.m.; breakfast at 8:00 a.m.; classes from 9:00 a.m to 2:45 p.m. and team sports from 3:00 to 6:00 p.m. Dinner from 7pm and curfew at 9pm, except on Fridays and weekends when it is at 11pm.

Rooms 201 to 204 are together for morning training. Paul wakes up at 6am and the bed next door is already empty. At 6:30 a.m., Allan and Dimitri knock on his door and leave for practice with Mr. Filod, the basketball coach. As soon as he arrives in the gym, he spots his roommate.   
He's wearing a black sweatshirt, still with the hood over his head. But this hoodie has a "Fuck You" written all over it, surrounded by musical notes. Paul is surprised they even let him wear it here.   
The training is pretty light, but the coach warns them it's gonna get a lot more intense.   
Paul doesn't see his ghost roommate all day. After soccer practice, Paul goes back to his room, hoping he won't be there, and he isn't. Paul slumps on his bed as the bedroom door opens. He raises his head and sees the boy coming in, still with his hood over his head, letting only a few strands of blond hair stick out, seemingly untameable, in the middle of a discussion with Allan. 

"Oh, hi, Paul," Allan says to him, "How are you?"

''Hi. How are you Allan" Paul immediately realises his mistake and says, "How are you guys?"

His roommate is standing in the middle of the room, looking at him from the side. The blue of his eye is visible through Paul's face, and he seems hypnotised. He would have sworn, twice, that his eyes were black, and here he is staring at an eye as blue as ocean. 

''You're lucky, Paul, Sam is one of the best, in every way. Except football, but who cares about that?"

Sam laughs "Totally." His laughter makes Paul feel like he's been stabbed to death. He even seems surprised that such a mysterious boy can laugh. 

Allan announces that he has to take a shower and comes out of the bedroom. Paul seems intrigued and looks at Sam without taking his eyes off him. The boy doesn't really care and goes to his desk. He moves in and gets out of the leaves, starts to scribble, but after five minutes he can't hold on and turns to Paul in an aggressive tone.

"What? This is your desk, isn't it?"

Paul squints, but at this distance, he can't see who's looking at him.

''What?'' gets the boy angry.

This time, the boy's voice brings Paul out of his thoughts. He's startled. 

''Oh, sorry. What, what?"

"I'm asking you why are you staring at me like that? Is this your office, is it?"

"I don't care about the desk," says Paul as he gets up. "I'm looking at your eyes. I'm sure they were black the first day of school and now they're blue."

''You don't know about contacts,'' Sam laughs.

"Really?" Paul says, "I don't know," he wonders. He hadn't even thought of them.

"No." Sam replies softly.

Paul crosses the room and finds himself next to Sam's desk. Sam looks at him, not smiling, feeling very judgmental. Paul finds the strangest look he's ever seen in his life. The boy's right eye is as black as his own, while the left is deep blue. It is Sam who breaks eye contact first, embarrassed.

"Mawkish eyes" whispers Paul, as if for himself, but Sam nods his head and confirms, "It's really beautiful. You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

Sam shrugs his shoulders and pulls the strands of hair out of his hood, visibly uncomfortable. 

"Do you always say what you're thinking?" Sam finally says as he looks at him again.

''Yeah. Sorry. I come from an unfiltered family. I'm sorry."

''Are you always this apologetic? I'm Sam. Sorry about yesterday. We really got off on the wrong foot. I'm sorry."

"Are you still apologizing?" Paul says in the same tone. "My name is Paul Demaury. Pleased to meet you."

And the boy smiles and shakes his hand and then he thinks... "Demaury, like the sketch artist?"

"That's my father." Paul admits.

Sam seems impressed. 

"I love his work!"

"Him, too." Paul laughs.

Paul bends over to look at the leaf where Sam is drawing what looks like trees.

"You're a artist too. It's cool."

Sam jumps up and puts his arm on the paper and says, "Thank you. But this is private."

Paul goes back to his bed apologising and tries to read his book but can't help but look at his roommate, totally absorbed in what he's drawing.

At 7:00 p.m, Allan and Dimitri knock on the door and the four of them go to the dining hall. Paul follows them, but Sam announces that he is going to take a shower and that he will join them afterwards. 

Once again, Sophie and Marie join them. Marie seems exhausted but spends the meal talking, being interrupted by a few yawns from time to time. She puts a delicate kiss on Paul's cheek when they separate in the hall, lingering a little longer than with Allan and Dimitri, which makes Paul blush slightly. Luckily, it doesn't show too much with his complexion. And since Allan talks about Sophie the whole time they go up to the dormitory corridor, they don't pay any attention to Paul.

When Paul comes back to his room after dinner, surprised that Sam hasn't joined him, he finds him peacefully asleep in his bed.

On Wednesdays, they have no practice in the morning or after school. It's a break in the middle of the week. The four boys take the opportunity to get together in room 202 and talk. 

"Sam?" asks Allan.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you always wear such provocative sweaters?"

Sam looks down at his sweetheart. It's black with the word "Toxic" written in red, dripping like blood. He shrugs his shoulders but that's not enough to satisfy Allan so he sighs.

"There's nothing provocative about them, they're just song titles."

"Ah," exclaims Allan, "but oddly enough, you haven't got a sweat that says ''I will always love you.''

"Maybe that's because I don't feel like telling anyone."

"Mmh "Toxic" by Britney Spears... I guess that's more the title you like, that the song" starts Paul "Fuck You" by Lily Allen... and "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. Not bad."

"Do you know every song in the world?" Sam is surprised.

"Possible" laughs Paul as he runs his hand through her hair.

"Do you know exactly what sweater I've been wearing since I got here?"

"Euh...I...er..."babbled to Paul "That we share a room. That's normal, isn't it?"

Sam shrugs his shoulders. Allan and Dimitri look at each other and laugh.

It's Dimitri who's going to bring up the subject Paul's been dreading since he came to boarding school. 

''Say, man, do you know Lucas Demaury?''

''Why?'' asks Paul in amazement. He didn't think it would come up this fast.

''Well, you have the same last name,'' Dimitri says with a shrug. ''He was my bio teacher at the school. And one day he talked about his son who was our age."

Dimitri looks like he's begging, which finally convinced Paul. Anyway, he never would have disowned his family. He just didn't want to talk about it until he was asked. 

''He's my father,'' Paul announces.

"Wait," Sam asks, "I thought you were Eliott Demaury's son?"

Paul bursts out laughing. He takes out a picture from his wallet as evidence. 

"There's my father, Elliott Demaury, the artist. And there's my dad Lucas, the bio professor. This is my sister, Elena."

30 seconds later, questions came from the two new friends.

"Wait! You have two dads?" "So you're adopted?" "And you have a mother?" "Your sister Elena is so cute! "

"Oh, stop, guys," ends up screaming, Sam.

"Thanks, Sam." Paul says before he looks at Allan and Dimitri. "Yeah, I've got two dads. We're adopted. I was a few weeks old. Elena, she, uh, she was almost 2. They picked me up in Colombia, and my sister's from Burkina. A doctor friend of mine was the main reason all this happened. I was born with a hare's beak, so my mother abandoned me and Imane, our doctor friend, told my dads about me. I was repatriated for surgery and they adopted me. My sister had a heart problem, she was left for dead in front of the hospital while we were on holiday at Imane's house. She had to come to Paris for an operation so my dads welcomed her in our home. And as she didn't have anyone to claim her in her country, she stayed in a foster family for 2 years and then they adopted her. That's it, you know everything."

Paul looks at Sam out of the corner of his eye. He's the only one who doesn't ask any questions, but he seems to be listening to his answers. Paul wonders if he's bothered by any of this. When Sam notices Paul's look, he winks and smiles at him. 


	3. Let's not talk about it

The next day, like every Thursday to come, they start the day by training in the pool. 

When Sam appears in a swimsuit, he looks really skeletal. His bones are protruding everywhere. His shoulder blades look so sharp that it feels like they're going to pierce his skin. His back has two large scars, running from his left shoulder to his right flank. He explains that it's the scar from a rugby accident, but Paul doesn't really believe it. Not because it's not plausible, but because he can see in Sam's eyes that he's lying. But he's not saying anything.  
Paul understands better why Sam is nicknamed "the fries" by his teammates. He wonders, however, how he can play, and even more so, how he can tackle players who are really stronger than him. He can't wait to go to a game just to see that. Especially since he hears it said quite often that _"the french fry is the club's secret fucking weapon."_

Tonight, Paul forcibly drags Sam into the cafeteria, despite his protests. He literally drags him, grabbing his wrist, only letting go so he can grab a tray. By the time they reach the table, the four friends are already there. Dimitri is by Marie's side. Allan is sitting next to Sophie, while the seat Paul usually takes is free, next to Mary. Paul looks over Sam's shoulder and sits next to Sophie, waving to Sam to come next to him. If Mary loses her smile, he doesn't even notice it. Lost in a discussion with Dimitri, he doesn't notice that Sam has fallen asleep, his head resting in his hand, his elbow on the table holding it in balance. And without paying attention, he taps his elbow into Sam's elbow, which makes him startle and wakes him up.   
The girls burst out laughing at Sam's defeated face, which looks lost when he opens his eyes. He gets up, staggers a little and stands on the wall to make up for it. Mary asks Paul a question but he doesn't hear it. He is already standing with his tray and Sam's tray, which he clears before he joins Sam who is going through the door of the cafeteria, turning only halfway around to greet the table. 

"Where are you going?" he asks, surprised that Sam is going in the wrong direction.

Sam looks at him, as if surprised that he's there and shrugs his shoulders.

"Come on." Paul commands, grabbing his arm to guide him to their room. 

Paul grabs his overnight things and walks out of the room, wanting to give Sam some privacy. But when he comes in, Sam is slumped on his bed, not even undressed and still wearing his shoes. Paul takes the shoes off. He hesitates and then rolls him against the wall so he can pull his duvet over him.

Sam half-opens his eyes, whispering "Mom...come back". 

Paul holds his laugh and goes to bed smiling. 

Friday comes too fast for Paul's taste. But not to the taste of his father, who is waiting for him in the parking lot waving his arm too vigorously.

''I told you I'd take the train home, Daddy,'' Paul grumbles as he gets to him.

Lucas seems upset.

''Hello to you, too. I missed you too."

Paul laughed and hugged his father.

"I missed you so much, Daddy. I just don't want you to be driving around every week. I can take the train no problem, you know."

He gets in the car and spends the ride talking about school and practice and his new friends. 

"Paul!"

Paul recognizes Emile's voice long before he sees it. He's barely out of the car when his best friend throws himself into his arms and cries.

"Emile?" Paul says softly, "I've only been gone five days."

Emile shakes his head crying and then raises his head to look at Paul.

"She left me, Paulo. It's all over. It sucks that you're not on your cell phone during the week."

Paul can barely hold the little scream out of his throat. Lucie and Emile had been together for almost a year. Not that Paul likes Lucy very much, but he's always kept that to himself. 

"Go ahead," his father suggests, "I'll get your bag."

And Lucas watches his son come home holding Emile in his arms.

When Elliot comes to pick him up to check on Paul's room a few hours later, he puts the bowl on the table and joins him.   
Without making any noise, they open Paul's door to discover him lying against Emile who is making the little spoon. 

"Do you really think they are just friends?" asks Eliott in a tone that shows that he doesn't believe it at all.

Lucas looks up to the sky.

''Eliott. Stop doing that. Did Paul ever tell you it's just friendship. Leave him alone and be glad he feels comfortable enough to hug a friend in need."

"Hug a friend in need, really?"

Paul's voice startled them and Lucas uttered a high-pitched scream.

"Fucking Paul, you scared the shit out of us."

"Seriously, Dad?" Paul asks again. "Sounds like a pornographic thing to say."

He starts laughing, followed by his fathers. When the kitchen calms down, he looks at Elliot with a frown on his face.

''Daddy, stop speculating. I'm not in love with Emile. He's sad, I comfort him. That's all I'm saying."

Elliot raises his hands in surrender.

''Okay. Okay. But if that changes. The love/friendship line can be a fine line sometimes."

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"There is no line. We're not crossing anything."

"He's still trying to put us together?" Emile laughs as he pulls at his shirt.

''Yeah.'' confirms Paul

"I'm sorry, I love your son, but he's not worth a girl." laughs Emile as he watches Elliot.

"Will you stay?" Paul asks him, tapping his shoulder against his own.

"No, I'm gonna leave you two as a family."

"Stay," confirmed Lucas, "you're part of the family."

"I promised my mother I'd come home. I'll be there tomorrow at 6.45 Paulo." He puts a short kiss on her cheek, grabs her jacket from the entrance and greets the whole family.

The smile on Elliot's face irritates Paul.

"Not a word, Dad. Let's not talk about it, OK"

Elliot laughs but says nothing. Elena walks in the door a few minutes later and tells Paul all about her week. 

The next day, he's ready at 6:45 and waits for Emile at his door. They go for a run, like every Saturday. Last year, Paul ran every morning, and Emile accompanied him on Saturdays. So now they intend to keep up the habit of jogging on Saturday mornings.

"So," asked Emile, stretching out after an hour's jog, "Did your father cook for you again?"

"Yeah."

''You could at least talk to them about your preferences, you know. If they know you're straight, they'll stop bothering you with me."

Paul looks at Emile out of the corner of his eye and shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah, I could. But I don't see why I should have to justify myself. And..."

"Breakfast at my place?" asked Emile, interrupting without realizing it.

"Shall we race?"

And the two boys rushed back to Emile's house. 

"So?" asked Emile between two bites. "Are there any nice girls? Could you introduce me to some?"

Paul smiles. Emile seems to be recovering quickly from his separation.

''Yeah. Mostly we talk to two girls, Sophie and Marie. Sophie's totally into Allan, a rugby man. But Marie's nice. You might like her."

''What's she into? "Rugby?" laughs Emile.

"No. Dance."

Emile seems to be thinking.

''Wow. Flexibility and all. That's good enough for me."

Paul bursts out laughing.

"What about the boys?" Emile asks before taking a sip of juice.

"Allan and Dimitri are in the next room. Allan's in rugby, Dimitri's in basketball. They're cool."

Emile raises an eyebrow.

''What about your roommate? Why don't you talk about it?"

Paul feels a little flushed and shrugs his shoulders.

"Sam. He's in rugby. He's a nice guy. He's kind of lonely and mysterious. We got off to a bad start, but we're getting along great now. I guess we do. I mean, Yeah."

Emile looks at him funny, which confuses Paul.

''You can't replace me! '' he finally says in a bossy tone, pointing his spoon at Paul.

Paul starts laughing before taking him in his arms to reassure him. 

"No risk, brother."

When Eliott calls Paul around 10:00 a.m. to ask him if he wants him to bring him something from the store, Paul leaves Emile and joins his father to go shopping. 

"Don't they feed you over there?" asks Eliott, astonished, in front of so many provisions put in the cart by Paul.

Paul looks at the chips, cake and juice boxes he has to put in the cart.

''You're gonna have to compensate with sports if you want to stay in shape,'' laughs Eliott.

''It's not for me, it's for a friend.'' Paul replies just as quickly before biting his lower lip.

He looks at his father, who gently wrinkles his eyes and pulls himself together.

''For friends. We take turns bringing back a bite to eat."

His father looks at him and then nods his head without saying anything.

"Take whatever you need. The drawer under the sink is included."

Paul looks up to the sky and groans a "dad" whose intonation expresses his frustration with a father trying to be as cool as possible. But good, but so awkward sometimes.

Back at boarding school, he forces Sam to eat, as often as he can. He carries food in his backpack all day long and gives it to Sam between classes. In the refectory, he catches himself watching what Sam eats, but he never gives Sam a second thought when he eats almost nothing. Every night, he drags him to dinner by force, because he knows that otherwise he will go to bed without eating. Mary changed places so that she could eat again next to Paul, who is always next to Sam. He and Mary discuss the biology classes they have in common, but Paul spends his time watching if Sam doesn't fall asleep next to him. If this annoys Mary a bit, Paul doesn't even see him.

The third week, his three new friends ask him to stay for the weekend. Allan only goes home every other weekend and Dimitri has agreed to stay. For Sam, the question doesn't arise, he stays at boarding school all the time.   
So when Dimitri talks to him about it, he accepts without hesitation. He is the first to be surprised, but he really wants to stay with his friends. Marie sadly announces that she has to go back because she only goes back to Alsace once a month. Sophie can't stay because it's her mother's birthday.  
On Wednesday, Paul asks to be allowed to use the telephone at the secretariat.

"Dad?"

''Paul? Are you all right?"

Lucas' voice is worried, of course.

''Yeah, yeah, I'm great. And you, are you okay?"

"What is it, son?"

Paul smiles while waiting for Eliott's voice. He imagines his dads, in the living room or the kitchen, around the phone on the speakerphone. And he's sure they already know what he's going to ask for. That's for sure.

"Can I stay at boarding school this weekend?"

He hears a "See, I was right." from Elliot and a sigh, probably from Lucas.

"Of course, Paul. I'll see you the next Friday, then."

"Thanks, dads. Love you."

Friday, after dinner, Dimitri says he wants to find a place of refuge in the school. A place of their own, where they can meet up, where they can be alone, where they won't have to worry about a teacher finding them. A place like that certainly exists. And Paul knows exactly where to find it. He stumbled upon a small room under the stage of the amphitheatre, looking for the toilet. He can't wait to show this place to his friends.

That's how on the third Friday after school starts, the four boys find themselves under the stage. The room is empty, only lit by a small lamp. Discreetly, the boys go back for pillows and blankets and settle into the room.  
Dimitri takes a bottle of vodka and four glasses out of his bag. They toast to their new life at boarding school and chat for a long time. 

When he goes back to his room, Paul feels a little euphoric. He's not drunk, he just feels really good. He doesn't like parties and spends his Saturday nights playing video games or watching movies with Emile and Ambre. He lies on his bed with his arms under his head and then turns on his side to watch his roommate calling him.

"Hey, Paul?"

"Hmm?"

''Sorry about the first day. I've been a real jerk."

''When you swore after you read my name, or when you took me in?'' laughs Paul.

''Both. I'm sorry about that. I used to have my own room. I used to have a room all to myself. I thought it was better to be alone."

"And was it?"

Sam seems to be thinking about all the moments he's already shared with his new friends. 

''No. Clearly not. It sucks to be alone" whispers Sam.

Paul gets a little lost in his own thoughts. He'd never really been alone before, always having his sister or fathers to spend time with. When Eliott is, what he calls Off, Lucas gives them so much energy to compensate that he never felt lonely. And when Daddy comes around, he wants to make up for his days or weeks off so badly that he spends as much time with them as possible.  
He would have appreciated the quietness of a room all to himself here. But now, if he could choose, the last thing he would want is a private room. He likes being able to chat with Sam, after crashing on his bed on his way home from practice. He likes to look at him out of the corner of his eye, when he's drawing, before he does his homework. He likes to have friends he can really be him with.

"Sam?"

Paul thinks he's asleep, but he can hear him rolling over in bed. Paul sits up on one elbow and looks at the shadow of the bed next to him.

"Yes, Paul?"

"Why don't you go home for the weekend? You told Marie you grew up in Paris."

"Because I'm better off here," replies Sam earnestly, surprised Paul remembered.. He said it the first time he met the girls.

"Oh serious!" complains Paul, wishing for a real answer.

"Because I can't go home," finally says Sam.

"Why ?"

"Because my family don't want me to come home."

Sam sits on his bed so Paul imitates him.

''I've had some problems with my dad... So I came here. My mother wants me to stay here."

"I'm sure she doesn't." Paul says softly.

"Yes, I do. She told me several times, you know... We don't all have perfect lives like you, Paul."

Paul gets up and comes next to Sam. 

"May I?"

Sam nods and then Paul sits down beside him and says "My life isn't perfect. Well, it is. It is to me. But not in other people's eyes. If you think it's easy being the son of two gay men, you're wrong."

"At least you have two fathers who love you! "

"I'm sure your father loves you too, Sam." Paul replies softly. He doesn't want to be optimistic, he can't imagine a family where a father might not love his son. Until he hears his friend's answer.

"Of course" he says. "A father who loves his son beats him and leaves him for dead, that's for sure." And Sam lies on his bed, turning against the wall.

Paul puts his hand on Sam's back, which slightly startled the blonde, but he doesn't turn around. Paul draws circles with his hand for a few seconds, then gets up and goes to bed. 

They don't talk about it again the next day, but Paul keeps thinking about it.

They spend the weekend playing video games and practicing, trying to beat each other in the different exercises. They take the bus to the city and eat kebabs while they walk around. It's like they've always been friends.

When they arrive in Philosophy class the following Thursday, the theme on the board makes Paul smile: **"Your first name is the first page of your story".**  
Paul looks at Sam. He looks frozen. He, who usually likes to talk, doesn't say a word. The teacher, Mrs. Rehy, keeps staring at him before moving on to another student.   
When it's his turn, Paul explains that he's named after Paul Jackson Pollock, because his fathers painted a wall using this method in high school and that it was an important moment for them.. 

Now, everyone knows he's the boy with two dads. But no one seems to be reacting. Paul smiles and turns to Sam who is always stoic.

He realizes that it goes around the school when he reaches the dinner table without Sam, whom he hasn't been able to convince. 

"Is it true that your parents are gay?" Marie asks as he barely sits down. "Why didn't you say so?"

This causes the frowning of every person at the table, especially Paul's.

"Would it have made a difference?"

Marie shakes her head and puts her hand on Paul's forearm.

''No, no, that's cool. It's a little weird, but cool."

Paul puts his arm back a little bit.

''Why is it weird?'' he asks, keeping his eyebrows furrowed.

Marie looks at Sophie, obviously embarrassed.

''Well, I don't know. They're both men. It's not normal. I just never thought that some kids have two dads. It just makes me feel weird to think you don't have a mommy, that's all. It's just unnatural, you know. But it's okay if you're okay with it."

Allan and Dimitri have their mouths wide open, and Sophie hides her face in her hands while shaking her head slightly as if to say she disagrees.   
Paul's more upset than he'd like to be. 

"I had a mother once" says Paul "but she abandoned me because I was a disfigured baby. My fathers adopted me before I even had the surgery. They're great. They've been fighting since they were our age to get rid of all the assumptions about their marriage and frankly I'm amazed you can say shit like that."

He gets up and leaves the table without even clearing his tray. He hears Mary calling him in the hallway but doesn't turn around. 

''Paul, fucking stop.'' She screams out out of breath.

Paul stops and turns around, hurt and angry.

''Paul, I'm really sorry,'' says Marie apologises. ''I don't know why I said that. I was just surprised, that's all."

She comes closer and touches his arm. Paul freezes, but Marie comes one step closer.

"I'm really sorry."

She fills the space between them and puts her lips on Paul's lips. Paul immediately pushes her away.

"I'm sorry, but no." He says in a dry voice, "Never Marie."

And he leaves without even waiting for her to speak.

Paul comes into the room and slams the door without realizing it. Sam jumps into bed and looks at him surprised, then worried. He's never seen Paul so angry before. Paul can't even get his shoes off properly and gets even more upset.

''Sorry man'' he throws to Sam.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks Sam softly as he comes out of sitting properly.

"Fuck no" groans Paul before collapsing into tears on his bed.

Sam gets up and sits on Paul's bed so he can draw circles on his back. After a few minutes, Paul turns around and wipes his tears.

''I'm sorry, Sam. It's just"

"Shh." cuts the blondie short, "Don't worry."

Paul rests his head on his pillow and falls asleep while Sam is still drawing circles on his back.

That night, Paul jumped into bed while his neighbour screamed in his sleep. He moves around and Sam keeps screaming. Paul jumps out of bed, turns on the light and tries to shake it to wake him up.  
Just before he opens his eyes, full of tears, Sam hits Paul in the face. Paul, surprised, doesn't have time to back away and the fist he receives on his left cheek makes him fall to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Paul," Sam yells as he gets out of bed to help him up, "Oh, God, I'm so sorry."

A fist rings out on the door, "Are you all right in there?" It's Olivier, the night watchman. 

"Sorry," replies Paul, grinning "I had a nightmare. We go back to bed. Sorry."

They hear footsteps walking down the corridor and Sam puts his hand on Paul's bruised cheek.

"I'm really, really sorry, Paul," he whispers as they get back on their feet.

"It's okay, Sam. You weren't even conscious. It's okay, I'm telling you. Are you okay?"

"I hit you and you ask me if I'm okay?"

"Yes. You looked really bad."

"Just a nightmare. I'm sorry, Paul. So sorry."

"Let's not talk about it, OK?"

"OK."


	4. Lies

The next morning, Paul has a beautiful black eye. Sam feels even more guilty when he looks at him, even though Paul keeps telling him he's fine. 

When they arrive at the 6:30 a.m. practice, Paul walks past his coach, Mr. Ducastel, in profile, so that he cannot see his bruise. But of course, during the warm-up, he notices him and calls him.

"Paul, what's that?" he says, touching his bruised cheek.

"Nothing." Paul groans.

"So, let's get this straight," said the coach as he looked at the whole team. "I care about every single student at this school. And anyone who comes to practice with a fight mark on their cheek will have to explain it to me."

Sam opens his mouth but closes it again when he hears Paul say, "I slipped. I tried to hurry up in the shower yesterday, I slipped and hit the center bench in the face."

The team starts laughing softly, but then stops when the coach says, "And you think I'm gonna buy that, kid?"

"I swear to God. Sam was there, he saw the whole thing." 

Paul turns to him, his eyes begging for confirmation so he nods, "He slipped, sir." Mr Ducastel looks at him and laughs as Sam adds, "Good thing he was half-dressed, otherwise he would have ended up naked."

Paul would have done without that part, but he ends up laughing. 

The girls always eat with their sports team at lunchtime, but this lunchtime, Marie tries to meet Paul as he is about to go to a table. 

"What did you do to your eye?" she asks, shocked, "Is it because of me?"

Paul looks at her surprised.

''No, Marie. My life does not revolve around you. I'm sorry."

He puts down his tray and walks away without eating, preferring the quiet of the deserted football field. He's barely sitting in the bleachers when Sam joins him, his arms full of bread, cheese and fruit.   
They eat next to each other, without talking. Paul ends up resting his shoulder on Sam's shoulder as he bends over to do the same. They each put their head against the other's and stand there, looking at the field without saying anything, until it's time to go to class.

When he gets home that night, he's glad he has to take the train so he can have some time alone to think. He hears Emile chatting with his dads as he walks through the door of his house. He puts his coat down gently and looks up. Immediately the three of them start screaming. Emile is the first to come to him, gently caressing his bruised cheek.

''Hello everyone,'' says Paul nonchalantly. 

''What happened?'' asks Emile softly

"Paul, who did this to you?" Eliott asks much less softly.

Paul is surprised not to hear Lucas. He already has the phone in his hands. Paul walks over to him and hangs up. Of course, Lucas was trying to call the school.

''Daddy, relax.'' He says, waving at him to sit down.

But Lucas gets mad.

''You come home with a black eye and tell me to relax? Who did this to you, Paul?"

''I did it,'' says Paul ''I swear I did it. I was tired, I tripped."

"You think I don't recognize a black eye when you see one?" Eliott gets angry.

"It's true," Paul moans, "I fell coming out of the shower."

Emile takes one look at Eliott and Lucas and drags him to his room. 

He slams the door behind Paul and looks him in the eyes.

"What happened, Paulo?"

"I fell," Paul says softly without taking his best friend's eyes off him.

And just like that, for the first time in 11 years, he's lying to his best friend. Without any remorse. And for a quick change of conversation, he tells him about Marie. About her words that hurt him and about the kiss he didn't want. He doesn't talk about Sam. First he doesn't want Emile to think he's replacing him and then he doesn't really know how he feels about that. 

When he gets out of the shower, he's pretty sure Emile's talking to his dads, because they seem to believe him now. That doesn't stop his dad from going into his room before he's fully dressed.

"Hey," Paul yells at the intruder, "I have more privacy at boarding school. All right, Dad, are you reassured? I don't have any bruises anywhere."

He turns on himself, just dressed in his boxers.

''I came to tell you we're ready to eat, but yes, I'm reassured. Thank you."

And Eliott leaves and Paul can hear Lucas' sigh of relief from the top of the stairs. 

Emile is staying to eat and sleep this time. They spend the evening playing video games and then fall asleep in Paul's bed talking about girls. 

  
As usual, when he wakes up, Emile totally crushes him. But he doesn't mind. It's been like this since they were little kids. Paul looks at his sleeping friend and blames himself for lying to him. He kisses him on the forehead and gets out of bed. 

"Did you get up early?" asks Lucas sitting in the kitchen.

"Daddy? What are you doing up so early?"

Paul looks at the clock. 6:15. 

"Insomnia." mumbles his father as he drinks his coffee.

"That you fight with coffee?" Paul laughs softly before adding, "Because of me?"

His father looks at him in amazement, but sweeps the air between them.

"No. Just good old-fashioned insomnia. Don't worry about it."

Paul goes for a run. He doesn't come back until 8:00 a.m, soaked in sweat. 

"You stink," Elena tells him as he comes to kiss her. 

"I love you too, little sister."

"You're all wet, it's disgusting."

Emile eats next to her and starts laughing.

''You could have waited for me. But she's right, you stink, man."

Paul turns to him with a teasing smile on his face and rubs his wet forehead against Emile's jerky cheek.

"Paul" indignant's Lucas.

"He came after me," Paul groans as Emile wipes his cheek, "You're disgusting, man."

Paul sticks out his tongue and then goes to take a shower. He gets dressed and goes to the table to eat.

"Is Daddy okay?" he asks, looking at Elliot's empty chair.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, looking sad. Emile puts his hand on Paul's shoulder.

Paul doesn't see Elliot again this weekend. He knows he can't do anything, but he feels sad to leave on Sunday evening. He slips into his room before leaving to kiss him but he doesn't know if his father realizes it.

"Will you be here on Saturday?" Paul asks, knowing the answer to that question.

"I'll be there, I promise," replies Lucas, "your sister at Sarah's birthday party. But I'll be there."

Paul smiles sadly. He hopes his father will be out of his off period by then. When he comes back to boarding school, Sam already sleeps peacefully in his bed. 

The pace of training is accelerating and Sam is losing weight at a glance. He already looked very thin when he arrived, now he's downright skinny. Paul has to remind him to come to dinner every night, and sometimes he feels that if he didn't remind him, Sam would simply forget. Mary hesitated to come to their table on Monday night but Paul waved to her to come and sit down. When everyone left the table and separated in the hallway, he held her back.

''I'm really sorry, Paul,'' she said with her head down, ''I should never have said all that. I'm such an idiot sometimes."

Paul grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

''Let's forget it. Okay? I just didn't expect that, that's all. It hurt my feelings, but I know you didn't mean to do it."

Marie got close to him but he backed away just as fast.

''No Marie'' he said by removing his hand from his face: ''I'm sorry but I don't feel that way. It has nothing to do with this whole story. I just want us to be friends."

Marie seemed really disappointed but nodded her head before leaving for the girls' dormitory.  
Every night, Paul comes home from practice, tosses his shoes and crashes noisily on his bed, before turning on his side to talk to Sam. Then Sam draws and they do their homework together. And every night, Paul reminds him to come to dinner. On Wednesday nights, Marie eats at a different table. Paul smiles as he watches her put her hand on the arm of Jonathan, a basketball player. He almost hits them as they leave the cafeteria as they kiss each other good night. It makes him smile.

When Sam doesn't want to come, on Thursday night, Paul grabs his hand and tries to pull him by force. The feeling of Sam's hand touching his own totally electrifies him. He realizes that it's really not like with Emile. Sam finally gets up from his bed, defeated, but since Paul is lost in his thoughts, he doesn't back down. Their faces are just a few inches apart. Paul's eyes fall on Sam's lips without him having time to think about it, and then he recoils, embarrassed. They talk and eat with the guys, but Paul can't look Sam in the eye during the whole meal.

Paul wakes up with a start on Friday at 2:00 a.m., hearing his roommate screaming and crying in his sleep again. He shakes him, carefully this time, and prepares to avoid his fist. But Sam, with his eyes still closed, grabs him by the collar and hits his head against Paul's nose, then opens his eyes.

Paul wasn't prepared for a headbutt, and he collapses on Sam, his face bleeding. Sam mopes again with apologies, shifts Paul to the side and gets up to fetch towels. Paul is lying on the bed and a red puddle appears under his head.

"Oh, fuck, no" panics Sam. "OK, don't move, I'll get Olivier."

"No," shouts Paul before whispering, "you'll get in trouble. It's OK. Look, it's not even bleeding anymore."

Paul sits on the bed and takes the bloody towels off his face. Sam gets closer and he   
touch the nose.

"See," confirms Paul, "it's not broken."

"I'm really sorry, Paul. Please ask to change rooms." Sam gives him a begging look. 

Paul feels like he can lose himself in his roommate's eyes. But he realises what Sam just said and can't bear the thought of not wanting to share a room with him.

"No way! Why?"

"Why?" Sam gets angry. "You're really asking why? But because it's the second time I've broken your face in my sleep. In not even six weeks..."

"You were asleep, it's not your fault."

"Of course it's my fault. It's my fucking fault. It's in my genes." he finally said before bursting into tears. 

Paul looks at him, hesitates, then drops his towels on the floor and takes him in his arms. Just like he takes Emile when he's not feeling well.

He gently makes Sam sit down on his bed, removing the blood-stained pillow. He gently whispers to him, "This is crazy. Such a genes does not exist, man."

Sam lies down on his bed, turns to the wall and pulls Paul's hand to lie against it. Paul falls asleep, circling his friend's waist, his hand resting on his, as he does with his sister, when she has a nightmare. He feels he needs to be there for his friend, he needs to reassure him. So in his sleep, he hugs him as tightly as possible.

And if their fingers gently intertwine while they sleep, it's nobody's business.


	5. I feel that, too.

When their alarm clocks go off, Sam apologizes again. For hitting him, for crying, for making him sleep in his bed. Paul confirms that he is all right, but is startled when he looks in the mirror. 

Friday starts with training with Mr. Ducastel, and he notices it as soon as he goes into the dressing room. This time he drags him forcibly into his office.

"Paul, what's that?" he says, touching his injured nose, ''I'll have to notify the headmaster and your parents."

"No, coach. I just ran into a door, that's all."

"Are you kidding me? A bench, now a door? Talk to me, Paul," he begs, "is this because of your family composition?"

"No, it's not. Everything's cool with it. Guys don't really care. A lot more than they did at my old high school. As a matter of fact, I had one bad thought, and it was from a girl. I'm just tired, and therefore awkward. That's all I'm saying. I promise."

"Is that Sam?" Mr. Ducastel asks softly.

"What? No, why?" Paul is surprised.

"He was rushed into the hospital last year because he was in trouble. But I don't want to judge him on rumours or his past record. So if you tell me he didn't do anything to you, then forget I said anything."

"Forget it, sir."

And without batting an eyelid, Paul lies to his coach, looking him straight in the eye... On the one hand, he's happy when his coach whispers, "Okay, all right. Go get ready," and on the other hand, he's sad to lie to him. But if he's telling the truth, it will backfire on Sam, and he wants to protect him. He needs to protect him.

They're halfway through practice when Sam falls to the floor. They were just making passes at each other. The gym went completely quiet after Paul yelled "Sam. But already Sam gets up and the coach sends him out for a hearty breakfast. Paul is of course the first one to volunteer to go with him. If he gets shaky on his way to the cafeteria, he tries not to show it. If his heart missed a beat when he saw Sam collapse, he has to pretend he's okay. Because all he cares about is Sam being okay. Sam rubs the back of his head smiling and makes him promise not to worry. He just needs to eat a little more.

When Sam comes into the room after his practice, Paul is sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, grumbling about a math exercise. Sam puts his things on the floor and sits down next to him so he can help him.

''I don't get it,'' Paul concludes. ''Normally I'm really good at trigo, but this time I can't.''

''Look, it's a good start. There it is, you just forgot about deduction. You don't suck, Paul. You just need a little help and you need to do this in a rested position."

He corrects his paper, turns his head and kisses Sam's cheek. "Thanks, man. You just saved my weekend."

That's Sam jump, but apparently Paul hasn't noticed. He's put away the homework and Sam goes to his desk to draw.

Once again, the boys meet, Friday night after dinner, in their secret room, over a bottle of Dimitri. 

''I can't wait to see my parents tomorrow,'' says Allan. ''I've told them so much about you."

"The same," says Paul, "I really hope both my dads will be there."

"Isn't it safe?" asks Dimitri.

Paul shakes his head. "No. Daddy... Elliot was sick last weekend. I hope he's better. But Lucas will be here."

"I can't wait to see him again." Dimitri laughs. 

"He remembers you," laughed Paul in turn laughed "He said, _"very nice, but very talkative."_ "

All the boys laugh.

"What about you, are your parents coming?" Dimitri asks Sam.

Sam's face closed and he answered in a voice that didn't call for any questions.

"No."

  
Dimitri retightens the glasses and the discussion becomes more intimate.

"Say, Paul," Dimitri asks him after a few drinks, "Are you gay?"

"Why," asks Sam instead, "are you interested?"

"No" laughs Dimitri "I'm only interested in girls...just to find out, really. But don't answer if you don't want to. Just out of curiosity."

"To find out if it's in my genes?" said Paul, laughing. "There's no genes for it, you know. I don't know. For the moment I've only been with girls. I like their sweetness."

"You don't know my sister," Allan laughs. "She's as smooth as a bulldozer! "

"Guys can be sweet too," Sam whispered without saying it out loud.

"It's true," Paul confirms by looking at him "or not."

Sam turns scarlet red, gets up and walks out of their shelter without saying anything.

"Hey, wait," shouts Paul as he chases after him.

"Oh, shut up Paul, we're going to get caught" says Sam, putting his hand over his mouth as soon as he joins him. "If we get caught after curfew, smelling like liquor, we're dead! So shush."

"Sorry... I didn't mean that about you. I swear, Sam. I was thinking about the rugby team. But I realised too late that you thought I was talking about you. I swear, Sam, I wasn't."

Paul feels really bad. He can see it in his face, and in the look in Sam's eyes that he hurt him. He really didn't want that. In fact, he doesn't even really know why he said that anymore. It was such a stereotypical response. His fathers would be ashamed of him if he heard that. He doesn't know why, but he thinks back to the pride marches, the pan flag drawn on one cheek, the gay flag on the other. Maybe because he knows that one of his dads has no preconceived stereotypes about who he might have fallen in love with.   
Sam looks him in the eye, which interrupts his thoughts. Then he smiles at him and they start walking and whispering.

''I'm on the rugby team!'' he recalls in a teasing voice.

''Yes, but you're not really a big bully.'' laughs Paul.

''Wait till you see me on the pitch. And then look at your face."

Paul stops on the spot. He grabs his friend's wrist and forces him to turn around and look him straight in the eye.

''I swear, that's not what I was talking about. I didn't mean that."

"Okay, okay, I believe you, but shut up. Come on, let's go back up to our room."

Once Paul's on his bed, he can't stop thinking about the party.

"Sam?"

"I'm asleep."

"Liar! "

Paul sits in his bed and watches the shadow of Sam's bed.

"What's the matter?"

''If you want to talk about your parents, I'm here, you know.''

Sam looks up and sighs. He gets close to the edge of the bed and lets his feet hang down and tosses them.

"My father tried to kill me. It's like I'm already dead to him."

Paul stands up. Sam speaks, without looking at him.

"Last year, I went out with one of my teammates. He was my first boyfriend. No one knew. But in June, someone must have seen us, because the whole team knew. He denied it. I didn't deny it. So he beat me up, in front of the whole team. Nobody moved. It was the coach who stopped him and sent me home. When I got home, my dad grabbed me by the sweater, calling me names you've probably heard before about gay people. He hit me so hard, I collapsed. He kept hitting me with everything he could get his hands on. The two scars on my back, they're from the fireplace pokers. He locked me in my room and I stayed there for two days. My mother waited until he finally came out of the house to call an ambulance. I had broken limbs, broken ribs and infected wounds. My mother said that I had been assaulted and I didn't deny it.   
I was able to go home in August but I stayed in my room so I wouldn't run into him. My mother got me accepted to this school by a teacher she knows, saying that it was my former teammates who had assaulted me and that I couldn't go back to school. I haven't been home since. I spent the summer at my aunt's house up north. I've only seen my mom three times in the last year. She says it's to protect me from my dad, but I just see that I'm all alone."

Paul walks across the room and pulls Sam towards him. He draws circles around his back, just like his father does to reassure him. He says nothing. He doesn't know what to say. Maybe he doesn't have anything to say. Finally after a few minutes, he whispers a "You'll never be lonely now" through the blonde hair.

Sam backs away with a sad smile on his face. Their eyes meet and time seems suspended. Sam's eyes fall to his lips. Paul is used to people looking at his scar. But now he knows that's not it. Paul leans over to him, looking him straight in the bicolor and beautiful eyes, watching for the little thing that would make him stop. But he doesn't see anything like that, so he puts his lips on his own. It's soft, calm. But already, Sam's lips answer him and the kiss intensifies. As if he's wanted to for a long time.

Sam's hand squeezes Paul's face. Sam's lips are soft and persistent. This moment is incredible and perfect. Paul wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Not even for a girl.

When Paul breaks the kiss and looks at him, Sam looks totally lost. Then Sam puts one hand on Paul's neck and pulls him up to kiss him. Their kiss is intense, like they need to find each other. Sam finally lies down, Paul still kissing him, above him.

"What are we doing here?" Sam finally asks, between kisses...

"We're knitting" jokes Paul as he kisses her again.

Sam pushes him away by putting both hands on his chest, forcing Paul to calm down.

"I'm not kidding, Paul. What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm kissing you, Sam," Paul simply replies.

"Why?"

Paul creeps up next to him and strokes the blonde hair up and down, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Because I want to. Because I even need it. Because it makes me feel good. Because I hope it makes you feel good too. And that it makes you look like you want it as much as I do. Because you deserve to have all the love that you've been missing, and I think I have that love for you. Because I like talking to you. I like to laugh with you. I like sleeping and waking up against you. Because I like getting lost in your eyes. Because I like to watch you sleep. Because you notice details that no one sees but you. Because it's you."

Paul comes closer and kisses her, until Sam breaks their kisses again.

"I thought you liked girls, Paul?" It's not a judgment, just an interrogation.

"I thought so, too. I've had several girlfriends, and it's been good. But what I feel when I hold you in my arms, what I feel when I kiss you, it just has nothing to do with that. I've never felt like that before. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that. When you walk away from me, I feel broken. I'm glued to you, but I want to be even closer. I need to be closer to you. I want to blend in."  
Paul blushes and steps back a little. "I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean..."

''I know, I understand. I feel that, too." Sam whispers before he kisses him.

And they're clinging to each other, like their lives depend on it. And this time, it's Paul who breaks the kiss.

"What do we do, Sam?"  
  
"We're knitting?" he jokes.

"What do we do for us, I mean?"

"I don't want to get into trouble, Paul. I really can't."

"You know, no one's going to say anything around here. There's these two guys that are together senior year and nobody tells them anything."

"Do you really think they'd let us stay in the same room if they knew we were a couple?"

Paul thinks about it and then concludes, "No, that's clearly not true."

"If they tell my parents I'm changing rooms, they'll be able to take me out of here. I promise I'm cured," Sam says with his head down.

"Sam, you don't have to be cured. It's not a disease. It's you...It's us. It's who we are."

"I know it is. But...But..."

"Shall we keep it to ourselves, then?" cuts Paul off by stroking his cheek

"Yeah?"

They fall asleep in Sam's bed that night, huddled together, their legs totally intertwined, a big smile on both their faces. 


	6. First games

On Saturday morning, the rugby team plays its first friendly game. Dimitri and Paul settle into the bleachers and wave to Allan and Sam. Paul looks around and notices that several boys are doing the same thing. Indeed, the new team mixing policy is working well.   
Among the students, parents are taking pictures, brothers, sisters and friends are watching the players on the field. Paul has a little twinge in his heart when he thinks that no one is there for Sam and he promises himself inwardly that he will come to every game. 

Surrounded by his teammates, Sam looks tiny. Not in height, but in width. From his seat, Paul feels as if the pillars are three times as wide as he is. Maybe that's not just an impression. And yet, Sam is extraordinary in the field. He runs at an incredible speed and, above all, he knocks down opponents who are twice his weight. He stops his opponent with every shot. Indeed, he's quite a secret weapon! 

When one of the players tackles Sam to the ground, Paul feels the fear winning him over. And if Sam gets hurt, and if he gets hurt... All he wants is for Sam to get up and make sure he's OK. He feels a huge relief when this happens, and looks around him as if the other students can guess what's going on inside him.  
But of course, nobody pays any attention to him, not even Dimitri, who has his eyes on the game.

After the victory, when the team breaks up, Paul looks at Sam running towards him. He literally throws himself into his arms. Paul hugs him before he starts laughing.

"You stink!"

Sam laughs out loud as he steps back and slaps Dimitri's fist.

"I smell victory!" he announces...

''No, you stink of rugby!'' laughs Paul.

Allan comes to introduce them to his parents and sister and the boys have to stop laughing when Allan waves behind his back and whispers ''bulldozer''. Allan talks a little with his family and then goes to take a shower. He has asked to stay and watch Paul's game this afternoon.   
Paul feels really lucky to have found his new friends.

So the four of them are getting together for lunch. They sit around the table and laugh about something Dimitri said twenty minutes ago.   
Together, they can just be themselves. They can laugh and talk about anything. Paul is sure that if he was crying in front of a movie with his guys next to him, no one would give him a thought. He's sure that Sam would be the first to bring him a handkerchief.

He hopes both of his dads will be there this afternoon but doesn't want to put too much hope in that. He knows that his dad is doing the best he can and that he will be the first to blame himself if he misses that first game.

At 2pm, Paul is in place on the field and he still doesn't see any of his family. But as soon as the ball comes to him, he forgets everything. He scores 3 goals and honors the forward center position that the coach gave him for this game.   
After an intense first half, and several falls due to rain-soaked grass, the boys go straight back to the changing rooms. Paul looks down at the stands but only sees his friends greeting him with a booing. He waves to them and follows his teammates.

When the game ends, they win 9-2, all the players in the team shout for joy on the field and Paul slaps his teammates' fists.

When everyone scatters, he runs to the bleachers and jumps into Sam's arms and hugs him.

"I guess that was pretty good for a football game," Sam chuckles as Paul steps back, one hand still on Sam's arm. Allan taps him on the back of the head and Dimitri laughs, "but you smell good," Sam laughs.

''I always smell good,'' laughs Paul.

"Paul?" 

Paul turns around so fast, his neck hurts. He has rarely heard Emile's voice so hesitant. 

"Emile, fuck" Paul pulls his best friend into his arms so fast he almost tripped. He kisses his cheek and hugs him tight before he lets him breathe. "What are you doing here?"

"We found him on the path."

Paul smiles even harder, even though he thought it was impossible. 

"Dad."

He breaks free from Emile's arms and hugs Elliot. 

''We were there all along, but we could tell you didn't see us,'' laughs Eliott as he points to the east stands.

''And he barely says hello to me when I deign to pick him up.'' Lucas complains with a smile.

''You know it's not the same.'' Paul says, kissing his father, who shouts out, ''What the fuck, Paul, what the fuck is that?"

Paul looks at his father, not understanding his question. When he points to his nose, Paul smiles. He had completely forgotten.

''I fell during practice yesterday. Nothing broken. I'd already forgotten about it."

He turns to his new friends. They're not even embarrassed by this whole display of affection. They're getting to know Paul pretty well now.

"Dads, Emile, this is Allan, Dimitri and Sam."

"Guys, these are my dads, Elliott and Lucas, and my best friend, Emile."

Everybody says hi. Dimitri laughs as he shakes hands with his old teacher and Paul notices that Sam and Emile look at each other longer than they should. Emile winces as he looks at the inscription on Sam's sweater.   
Now that Paul knows that Sam draws his inscriptions himself before printing them, and that he knows more about Sam's history, he looks at it differently. But he can't help smiling at the look on Emile's face as he contemplates the "Kill me" written on Sam's chest. From each letter falls a drop of blood.

Emile takes his arm and asks him to show him his room.

"I don't know if..." begins Paul, but he is interrupted by Sam. "Come on, we'll cover you."

When Sam turns around, the words "Back to life" appear like a sun on his back. Each letter is surrounded by rays of sunlight.

"Sam, I love your sweat," exclaims Eliott "I love this song."

"What song'' asks Emile a little lost.

''Kill mee, Back to life." answers Eliott. ''the lyrics are just perfect. _You're pulling me out of the dark, baby_ is he starting to sing.

Paul turns around, smiling but visibly embarrassed.

"Dad stop. Sam creates his own sweats based on song titles," explains Paul before being coached by Basil.

"I love it!" says Eliott, smiling.

''Thank you. I can see where Paul gets his musical knowledge from.'' said Sam looking at Elliot and then Paul.

"We're waiting for you guys in the car," says Lucas before they leave.

Actually, no one's watching, so it's pretty easy. Emile walks around the room before lying on Paul's bed.

"I miss you so much, Paulo."

Paul comes and sits next to him and gently strokes his hair.

''I miss you, too. But I'll see you Friday, right?"

"I can't wait! I can't believe it's already the holidays. How's your nose?"

Paul looks up at Sam, who's sitting on his bed. He can feel it stretching.

''I fell down. Don't worry about it. I'll get some more."

Sam opens his mouth to speak but Paul gives him a black look and frowns.

''Okay. Where are the girls hiding?" Emile asks as he gets up on the bed.

''In the building across the street.'' Sam replies, pointing out the window.

''Oh hard. But I suppose you've been there before. What about Marie? Did she kiss you again?"

Sam and Paul exchanged a silent look that Emile couldn't perceive.

"No. Well, are we going to find my parents?" Paul says as he gets up.

Emile follows him, and he looks at Sam with his eyes.

''Are you coming?'' he finally asks him, while he doesn't move.

"I'll leave you two with your family." Sam simply says without looking at him.

''OK, bye man.'' Emile says as he leaves the room.

Paul follows him down the hall, says, "Wait, I'll be right back. Two minutes" and come back to the room.

  
He sits on Sam's bed and Sam feels compelled to look at him.

"What?"

"Come, please." Paul says quietly, "I thought we were celebrating together."

"Paul..."

"Please." Paul groans, begging.

"Please" begs Sam back "tonight. Enjoy your family and tonight we celebrate with the boys."

Paul makes a sad pout, but nods his head. He looks at the door wide open but kisses it anyway before he gets out of bed. Sam smiles and Paul bends over to kiss him again but Sam pushes him away after a quick kiss and shows him the door with his head so he leaves, not without taking one last look at him.

"So?'' asks his father while Lucas and Emile pick up their order at the pastry counter where they have stopped to celebrate Paul's victory.

"So?" Paul sends him back, smiling.

"Sam?" asks Eliott in the same tone of voice, insinuating a lot of things.

Paul feels his cheeks turn red, but he shakes his head, hoping to diminish it.

"I see you're feeling better, Daddy."

Eliott steps back into his chair, surprised. Paul never talks about his father's episodes usually. Eliot doesn't even try to hide the big smile on his face. He knows he hit a bull's-eye with his son to make him react like that.

''Much better. Sorry about last weekend."

"It's all right, Dad." Paul puts his hand on your father's. "Thanks for coming."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." says Elliot. "I was so happy to see that."

Paul smiles until his father adds, "and the game was pretty good, too."

His smile falls off his face.

"What are you talking about?" Emile asks, bringing him back his waffle.

"About the game," says Eliott, simply looking at his son.

They discuss Paul's life at boarding school and the holiday plans, then they bring Paul home just in time for dinner. Eliott gets out of the car at the same time he does.

"You're free to invite your friends over to the house whenever you want." his father whispers in his ear.

"Dad."

"Anytime." Repeats Elliot before getting back in the car. 


	7. It's not secret

When he gets back to their room, Sam is leaning on his desk drawing. Paul gently closes the door and approaches him to kiss him on the cheek.  
Sam reaches out and turns around to look at him.

''Are you going out with Emile?'' he asks in a broken voice.

Paul laughs but stops as soon as he meets Sam's worried face.

''What?! No, I'm not going out with Emile. He's just been my best mate for 11 years. He's like my brother. I know we're close, but just like brothers."

Sam seems to be breathing again.

"You never kissed Emile?"

"Oh no. Never," confirms Paul with a grimace. "I don't kiss my parents, my sister or Emile with that mouth. Only you."

And as if to prove it, he kisses her. Sam seems to be breathing again.

"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Sam." Paul says softly, smiling.

"Sorry, I'm such an idiot. But to see you two so close."

Paul sits on Sam's lap and puts his forehead against his, smiling.

"Jealous?"

Sam smiles back at him.

"A little... so... Marie?"

"Yeah... that was the night I broke down. She kissed me but I pushed her away."

Sam looks at him, a bit lost.

"Is that what got you into this mess?"

Paul smiles and shakes his head.

''No. She said my family wasn't normal, and that it was weird for two men to raise kids. Nothing new under the sun, but it hurt my feelings."

Sam gives her a tender kiss.

''Forget it. Your dads look really great."

Sam kisses him again, but Paul breaks up the kiss. 

"Okay. Don't panic." Paul says softly.

"There's nothing better to freak me out," Sam says with a worried expression on his face.

''My dad burned us. Like, totally. Well, he's thought I've been with Emile for months, so he's not very good at it.'And I haven't confirmed it, but it's clear he's seen that I've fallen for you.''

Sam's laughing.

''Did you fall for me?''

Paul seems surprised. 

''What? No, I meant."

"I'm falling for you, too, Paul." Sam whispers as he kisses him, "Okay. I don't want you lying to your parents. So if you want to tell them, just say so. I don't want to be a dirty little secret."

Paul nods his head.

''You know, my parents will be cool with it, though it's too intrusive. Way too intrusive. I apologize in advance for any awkward moments that you're going to endurer."

Sam bursts out laughing with a kiss.

''You're very lucky. I would have loved to have a family like yours."

"That's clear," confirms Paul, "indeed, I'm very lucky. But, you know, it's not easy growing up hearing all the people around you think. Hearing that your family is dirty, abnormal, disgusting, that your parents should never have been. If you knew how hard it was to go out as a family, with my fathers holding hands, and me wanting to tell them to be discreet, but also not understanding why people were so interested in their love life. How difficult it is to always have to answer people who ask me if I'm gay, just to know if it's in my genes? when it's obvious, physically, that I'm not their biological son. We grew up surrounded by love, well cared for, well educated...but most people only remember the abnormal family side."

He looks at Sam and then gets up off his knee.

''Oh, fuck, I scared you. I'm sorry."

Sam gets up to shut him up by kissing him.

''You don't scare me, Paul. I know what you mean."

Paul kisses him and Sam steps back to sit on the desk but the sound of crumpled leaves startle him. He turns around to pick up his drawings.

"Were you drawing?" Paul asks without looking at the desk.

''No, I was just putting them away. Do you want to see?"

Paul seems surprised.

"I told him it was private. Not secret." Sam laughs.

Paul hesitates before looking at the drawings. "Isn't it private anymore?"

"It is." Sam confirms, "but it's different with you."

Paul looks at the drawings. They're all in black and white. The first one that catches his eye, it looks like a forest from above. In fact, it looks like a guy lost in a forest. But Paul only has to look closer to see that it's a man standing still, lost, in the middle of a restless crowd. The crowd is in shades of black, but the man in the middle appears in white. 

''It's first day of school,'' Sam whispers. 

''Did you draw that on the first night?'' Sam whispers.

"Pretty much, yeah. I like to draw what I'm going through, almost at the moment it's happening."

"Is that you? Lost in the middle of all of us?"

"What?" Sam wonders. "No, it's you, idiot." Sam looks at the picture, as if trying to see what Paul thought he saw. 

Paul looks at the picture more closely. It's true the boy in the middle looks just like him. At least he has the same haircut as him, not Sam's shaggy hair. That surprises him even more 

"Me? Why me?"

''An artist doesn't explain his art, dear.'' Sam says in a pompous, fake voice and then laughs nervously.

Paul's laughing, because his father says the same thing. He knows he won't know any more so he puts the drawing down and takes the next one.  
There are dozens and dozens of looks in this drawing, all of them seeming more worried than the others. Paul feels as if he is being judged by all these looks.

"Is it the pool on the first Thursday?" Paul asks. 

Sam looks genuinely surprised, but nods in agreement.

"It's really beautiful," says Paul, before he picks another one at random. 

He barely has time to look at it before Sam tries to pick it up again. "No, not that one."

But Paul lifts it up to his eyes before he grabs it. "It's beautiful."

The man, or boy, in the middle of the picture, and it's clearly Sam by the haircut, is lying there in the dark. Paul has the impression that all the darkness around the drawing is trying to eat the boy lying in the middle of the paper. But a white hand is placed on the boy's back, and a luminous aura emanates from this hand, as if to protect him from the black.   
Paul lets Sam take his drawing back and puts it in his pocket. 

''You should put them up on the wall, Sam. They're beautiful."

Sam shrugs his shoulders and puts them in a purple pouch before turning to Paul and taking his face in his hands so he can kiss it.   
Soon they find themselves lost in their kisses.

The bedroom door opens with a crash, startled them.

"Shall we watch a movie?" Dimitri asks.

"Aren't we going to eat?" Paul wonders. "Okay, I'll have some snacks."

He pulls a large backpack out of the closet and opens it as Allan puts his computer on Paul's bed. From the bag, he pulls out cakes, chocolate and chips. 

"Why do you always carry so much food around?" Sam asks him as he watches him take the bags out of his purse.

"To make you thicker. You're much too thin. Not thin, skinny."

Sam wasn't expecting that answer at all and he feels his cheeks turning red. It's a good thing Paul always has his head in his purse. "You're so full of crap!" Sam pinches his belly skin, as if he's got a few extra pounds on him. Except he's only pinching his own skin.

''You've only got skin on you! You're all skin and bones, Sam. I don't even know how you get that much workout and how you keep it together."

Tonight it's up to Dimitri to pick the movie, and he chooses what he calls a classic "Save the last dance." The four of them are laughing when Dimitri tells them that it's the film he learned to dance like a god.   
Until then, they've always watched action or horror films. Which suited Paul very well. Sam, on the other hand, hated horror movies... They all laughed when he started screaming, watching The ring. With his dark appearance, they all thought he loved it. 

They promised never to judge each other's musical or cinematic tastes, so no one points out that it's a dated movie, and the boys settle down to watch the movie, projected on the wall by Allan's computer. He's the only one who has this model with a built-in projector.

Sam and Paul are sitting on the floor, while Dimitri and Allan are sitting on Sam's bed.   
Sam's hand is next to Paul's hand. They are not holding hands, they are not caressing each other. Their little fingers are just touching each other.

Once they are in the dark, just illuminated by the light of the projection, Sam's hand rests on Paul's hand. When Paul starts sobbing, when the heroine tells about her mother's accident, Sam looks at him and kisses his cheek. 

Just before the movie ends, when the two teenagers get together, Paul chokes a sob. Sam turns his head towards him just as Paul puts his head in his hands to burst into tears. Sam puts his arm around his neck and pulls it towards him, forcing him to free his face and kisses his tears before falling on his lips.

"You're so cute, Paul Demaury."

Faced with this unexpected sight of Paul crying, Sam totally forgot about their friends sitting on his bed. He was startled when Dimitri cracked the bed when he got up.

"Sorry, guys. We're gonna go."

"Wait," stops him, Paul. "Don't be silly. It's just us. Unless you have a problem with... with us..."

Dimitri lights the little lamp and they come and sit down in front of the couple.

"No, man. We didn't mean to interrupt you," Allan apologizes, embarrassed. "Well, you could have told us, anyway. Especially you, Paul."

Paul looks up, a bit bewildered, and looks at his surprised friend.

"Why, especially me?"

He's never seen Allan so embarrassed before. He's usually very loud and says what he's thinking without restraint. But now he's looking for his words.

"Well...you said you were straight...liar, go." Allan laughs softly.

"Well..." Paul looks at Sam and runs his hand through his hair. "Some things change, I guess."

"Sam, you must be one hell of a shot! "Dimitri says, laughing.

Sam and Paul turn scarlet red, which makes Dimitri laugh twice as hard.

Dimitri and Allan are surprised that they didn't know about it earlier. They chat and laugh while eating. It's the first time Paul tells someone he's in a relationship with a boy, and he's happy. Because he can see that it doesn't change anything after all.

And because of that moment, he feels ready. Ready to introduce Sam to his family. Ready to tell his dads that he has a boyfriend. Ready to tell Emile.

The following Wednesday, the boys quietly enjoy the practice-free time by hugging and kissing each other.   
They need to feel close to each other, and kissing is all they need right now. They let their hands wander under their shirts but never further. Just the touch of one of Sam's hands on his chest is enough to give Paul goose bumps all over his body. And he loves it. He loves to touch Sam's chest, his back, his ribs. But he never touches his scars. The last thing he wants to do is remind him of that while he's kissing her. 

"Please come to my house this weekend." asks Paul gently as he kisses Sam's ear.

Sam stands up to look Paul in the eye. 

''I would love to. But if they ask me to move to another room... It's too risky."

Paul strokes his cheek.

''I swear to God they won't. They won't. I swear. Please come with me. Please..."

Sam kisses him and smiles into their kiss, whispering "OK."


	8. Welcome

On Friday, when he gets off the train, he takes Sam's hand in his. Paul would have liked to warn his parents, but it wouldn't have been discreet to talk about it in front of the secretary. The ban on telephones in the establishment has a lot of drawbacks. But at least Paul didn't have to explain his relationship over the phone.

Paul laughed when Sam spent ten minutes looking for the least provocative sweat he had, vowing to get new ones printed. Paul spent five minutes telling him that there was no way he was going to change and that his family didn't give a damn about his sweat.

It was Paul who insisted that he wear his "Fuck you" sweat because he loves the subtle notes of music, but Sam chose a black sweat with the rainbow-colored "It's me" written on it. It's one of the first ones he made. He made it when he was in the hospital, as if to prove to himself that he wouldn't change, but he never wore it. Paul put on the "Fuck You" sweater, even though it was slightly too small for him. He smells like Sam and it's the best thing possible.

Paul opens the door to his house and waves Sam home. He walks down the hallway and notices that Sam is looking at each of the pictures that have been added over the years. Lucas and Elliot in front of the mural, Elliot painting the bedroom of their first apartment, Lucas in front of his bio college, Elliot in front of the DVD rental store, the couple on their little belt, their first Proud, the couple at their wedding, the first picture with Paul before his surgery (Paul hates this picture). The first photo after his operation. Paul and his three grandparents. The first photo of all their friends with Paul. Their first walk of pride with him. Meeting Elena in Burkina. The first photo of the 4 of them after Elena's arrival in France. Mika proudly carrying Paul and Elena in his arms. Paul with Arthur and Mika; Elena with Yann and Basile. Paul at his first soccer match. The photo of the dads with their children as they leave the court, granting them the final adoption of Elena. The four of them at Mika and Camille's wedding, in the most colourful clothes. Elena is painting in her father's studio...everything, until the photo taken this summer during their trip to Germany.

Paul enters the kitchen first. Lucas stands by the hob and Eliott looks at him smiling. Daddy is not allowed to get too close, and he knows it. So he just comments on ingredients that Lucas could add to his recipes.

"Dads?"

''Paul... You're just in time. Dinner will be ready soon," says Lucas, stirring his pot. "Emile stopped by to warn us he won't be in tonight, but he's expecting you tomorrow at 6:45, as usual."

"I... I've brought a surprise guest." Paul says softly as he looks at his fathers.

"And where are you hiding him?" Eliott asks puzzled.

Paul went out into the hallway and came back with Sam, who was still looking at the pictures.

''Dads. You remember Sam."

"Welcome home, Sam," exclaimed Elliott. "I was looking forward to getting to know Paul's roommate better."

Paul looks up at the sky and takes a gentle breath. He looks up at Sam before he looks up at his father.

''Daddy. Sam is my boyfriend."

And Paul slips his hand into Sam's hand, as his fathers look on in amazement. He sees them read the inscription on Sam's sweater and smiles.

Lucas is the first to react. 

''Welcome home, Sam. Sorry about our reaction time. If our son wasn't so secretive... Just make yourself comfortable. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you, Mr. Demaury."

Lucas starts smiling.

''I keep this for my students. Call us Lucas and Elliott."

Eliott looks at Sam, still gawking, and then picks himself up. "Sam? Is that short for something else?"

Sam nods to confirm.   
  
"You kidding?" Paul says, surprised, "Why didn't I know that?"

"Well...you didn't ask." Sam laughs. "But call me Sam. I hate my name. So I graded Sam on my freshman registration papers and it went off without a hitch. My name was Samuel."

Eliott frowns on the use of the past tense, but says nothing. 

"Wow." Elena exclaims as she walks into the kitchen. She walks up to Sam and looks him in the eye. ''I guess you are Sam. Why didn't you tell me about his eyes, Paul? It's too huge."

"Elena" scolded Lucas, uncomfortable with her daughter questioning the boy in such a manner.

''It's nothing. I'm used to it, Lucas. Actually, I'm kind of surprised, but very glad Paul didn't mention it. Usually I'm always presented as the guy with the weird eyes... It's just a genetic error."

"It's no mistake at all" slips Paul into the crook of his ear as he sits down beside him. That makes Sam smile.

Paul looks up and sees his two fathers smiling stupidly. Maybe he said it too loud after all.

''So?'' Elena asks her brother ''Are you two together? Like, a couple? Or are you just holding his hand to piss off the parents like you do with Emile?"

Paul laughed out loud.

''It's my boyfriend, Elé. And I don't do nothing to piss off the parents. I'm just being myself."

The conversation is pretty fluid throughout the meal. The boys are talking about their classes and practice. Elena talks about her holiday programme (which basically consists of sleeping at her friends' houses and inviting her friends to sleep over). Lucas talks about his pupils and Eliott talks about his last orders.

''Eliott, I'm a real fan. I really like your work," says Sam looking at a painting on the wall of the living room where they come to drink tea.

"Sam draws too," adds Paul, "and he's good at it."

Sam glares at him blackly and Eliott laughs.

"He sold you out, you'll have to show me that, Sam."

Paul gets up, reaches into his bag, hands the purple clutch to his father.

''No. Why did you take that?'' asks Sam in shock.

"Because you never would have taken it." Paul says, "It's really good."

Eliott looks at the drawings and smiles and locks on to one of them. He calls Lucas still in the kitchen. When he hands him the picture, Lucas' face lights up.

''No. Unbelievable.'' Lucas whispers but everyone hears it. 

Eliott gets up and approaches Sam.

''You have a hell of a pencil stroke. It's really beautiful. Honestly, you're talented."

Sam seems embarrassed and he starts laughing nervously.

"At the same time, you wouldn't have told me the truth, even if it sucked."

Eliott seems upset.

''It's not knowing me well. I never lie for art. Never."

Sam looks at Lucas, who nods to confirm. 

"He's got no problem telling me that I'm making crap," confirms Paul, "his own son."

Elliot laughs, but waves Sam off to follow him.

"Come on."

He guides Sam back to his shop and searches for a few minutes before he pulls out a green folder. He pulls out a drawing and hands it to Sam. It really looks like Sam's drawing when Paul put his hand on his back that night. Except that on the sheet, the character is a raccoon sitting in the dark. But the whiteness that comes from the paw touching it is the same as in Sam's drawing.

"I drew this years ago," says eliott, "only Lucas has ever seen it."

Sam looks at Paul and realises he's discovering the painting at the same time he is.

"That was the day Lucas pulled me out of the darkness," says Eliott simply.

Sam looks at Paul but Paul doesn't dare look at him. He just hasn't found the opportunity to talk about his father's illness. He knows he will have to, but he wanted Sam to meet his father without any preconceptions.

The five of them settled down in the living room in front of the TV. Sam sits on one of the sofas next to Paul. On the other sofa, Lucas is standing between her husband's legs and his head is resting on his chest. Sam smiles softly as he looks at them. He has never seen his parents so close to each other. Elena sits next to Paul and keeps commenting on the film, which annoys Paul but makes Sam laugh as he comments with her.

When the movie ends, the dads leave for the kitchen, leaving Sam and Elena in the middle of a conversation about another possible ending to the movie. As Paul comes to get something to drink, his fathers intercept him.

"We're going to have to talk, Paul. Maybe not now, but over the weekend," says his father in a soft voice that doesn't involve any negotiations.

"I know, dads. How about tomorrow?"

"Of course, Paul. You could have told us about it before, you know."

"Can Sam sleep in my room?" Paul asks with his eyes on his feet.

"If you can be trusted not to do anything stupid, yes." his father simply says.

"Oh, dad...we're not there yet. We're not there at all."

"Perfect" concluded Lucas laughing "so don't change your habits by tomorrow and we're ok. If the temptation is too great to sleep in the same bed, take out the bouncy bed."

Paul looks up at the sky... and says his father thinks it's funny. He thinks back on all the nights he's already spent in Sam's bed and blushes slightly.

"Okay," Eliott says, laughing, "so I guess you guys have slept together before."

"How did you?" Paul wondered, turning even redder.

"I'm your father. I see right through you. And then I was your age, too."

Elliot and Lucas laugh and Paul leaves, rolling his eyes.

Paul and Sam go to bed around midnight, after talking a lot about boarding school with Elena. Once they're in Paul's bed together, Sam thanks him with a kiss. He was right, the love of the Demaury family really makes him feel good.

However, around three o'clock, Paul wakes up to hear Sam crying. This time he doesn't scream, but he sobs. Paul turns on his light and in front of Sam's so sad face he can't resist the urge to kiss him, thinking that a sweet kiss would surely wake him up in the best way. 

But Sam punches him in the jaw before he really wakes up. Paul falls out of bed and the sound of his body falling heavily on the floor makes the walls shake.

Less than two minutes later, Lucas and Eliott are behind the bedroom door and hear Sam apologize. 

"I'm sorry, Paul. I didn't mean to hit you."

Lucas feels the anger building up inside him. He was sure the bruises and scratches weren't accidents. He remembers every bruise Paul tried to hide and opens the door screaming.

"Are you the one hitting paul?"

Sam won't even deny it. He's kneeling on the bed, and Paul's sitting on the floor, holding his jaw.

"It's not what you think, Daddy," Paul says softly, so as not to wake his sister, even though they assume that between the sound of her fall and her father's screams, she probably is.

Paul has never seen his father so angry. He can see that his father is trying to hold him by the wrist, but Lucas moves towards Sam, looking up to the sky. Sam is now sitting down, completely curled up on himself and starts sobbing. 

''Well, if it isn't what I think it is, it sure looks like it. A black eye, an almost broken nose, bruises and now a loose jaw. Sam, I won't let you do this." 

"Daddy, shut up," Paul yells as he stands between his father and the bed. He puts his hand on his father's chest to pull him back. "Shut up. You're scaring him."

Paul sits on the bed next to Sam and hugs him. Sam really cries now and jumps up when Paul touches him, before he totally lets himself go against him and apologizes. He keeps repeating, between each sob, that he is sorry. Paul strokes his back and his hair. 

"It's all right, Sam. I'm right here. You are not alone." Paul looks up at his father. Lucas doesn't look angry anymore. He looks... totally shocked. So does Eliott, who's still in the doorway.

"I'm sorry, Daddy." Paul says softly before asking Sam. "Can I tell them everything, please? They need to know everything to understand."

Sam nods with a tiny nod. Paul begins to explain that Sam has nightmares and can't control himself, and then Sam takes over and tells his story to Paul's fathers, without looking at them. He tells them about the beatings of his team, his father, the two days of agony, the hospital, the isolation, his nightmares, his reflexes...and asks their forgiveness. 

When he hears Lucas' broken voice, he raises his head and realizes that he is wiping away tears. 

"Sam. We're really sorry you had to go through all this," he says, sobbing and holding Sam.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?" Paul asks softly, surprised and worried.

"Because I know how hard it is to be abandoned by everyone." Eliott approaches and strokes Lucas' back. "I'm really sorry about before" he continues, putting his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"No, Lucas, you were totally right. I am hurting your son. I really don't want that. But I do. "

Eliott looks at his son and then continues gently, "I know how it feels, Sam. You feel like you're breaking everything you touch, but you're wrong. You've survived unimaginable things. You need help. You need to be able to let go of this. If you're willing, we'll help you. We'll find solutions."

Eliott looks at Lucas, smiling tenderly at him.

"In our family, we live minute by minute. We move forward one minute at a time. For that minute, we'll let you sleep. And tomorrow we'll talk about it all again." concludes Lucas.

''Minute by minute'' whispered Sam as if he was soaking up the words.

Once his parents are gone, Paul forces Sam to lie down in his arms. He strokes his cheek, looks him in the eye and whispers "I love you Sam."  
  
Sam looks at him and whispers, "I really don't deserve this. None of this"

Paul grabs his chin so he can look at him and see that he's really serious. ''You really deserve it. Don't ever think that again. I love you, Sam. I love you and I'll be there for you. I will always be there for you. Every minute."

Sam hugs Paul, sobbing, "I love you too, Paul. So much."


	9. It's so much love

It was the sound of his bedroom door opening that woke Paul up. He opens his eyes just in time to see Emile come out of his room apologizing. 

Paul gets out of bed as quickly as possible, trying not to wake Sam and catches Emile on the stairs by grabbing his wrist.

"Hold on, man."

''I'm sorry, Paulo. I've been waiting for you to run. I didn't think you were with anyone."

"It's Sam." Paul says softly, "It's my boyfriend."

Emile takes his arm out of Paul's grasp.

"Glad to learn it." He lets go in a dry voice as he comes down the stairs, ready to go. 

Paul catches up with him in the living room, paying no attention to Lucas, already standing in the kitchen.

''What's your problem? Is it that I'm with a guy?'' asks Paul angrily.

Emile stops dead and looks at Lucas staring at them without moving.

''Are you calling me homophobic? Are you a complete idiot or what? I'm just disgusted that you keep things from me. You know everything about me and I feel like I'm discovering you."

''I feel like I'm discovering me, too.'' Paul shouts back, ''I didn't even fucking know I wanted to be with a man until last week.''

Emile looks at him and laughs.

''Fucking Paulo. You're such a pain in the ass sometimes."

Paul laughs back and pulls Emile up against him and gives him a hug.

''You're my best mate, yeah? That's not gonna change."

''Well, that's good. I love you, brother."

Paul lets go of the hug and looks at him really sorry.

"Sorry I missed the time this morning."

"You had a better distraction in bed, I guess."

Throat clearing brings boys back to earth. Not only are Paul's dads looking at them, but also Elena sitting on the bottom step of the stairs.

''I think Sam is freaking out.'' She says quietly as she looks up the stairs.

Paul looks at Emile and signals him to wait for her.

''I'll be back in five minutes. Don't go away. Don't let him go."

He runs up the stairs and bumps into Sam who comes out of the room with his purse in his hand. He literally rips the purse out of his hands and throws it in the middle of the room.

''You're staying.'' He says in too direct a voice.

''I'm only causing you trouble,'' he apologizes, Sam.

''I don't see any trouble in here.'' Paul said in a softened voice looking around.

"Paul."

"Sam. I love you, Sam. My best friend is having a jealous fit because I didn't go running with him this morning and he just found me in bed with the man of my dreams. I owed him an explanation. It's done. Now it's all good. We're gonna go downstairs and have breakfast and you guys are gonna get to know each other because you're both important to me, okay?"

''Okay. Keep clam. That's okay."

Paul kisses her, but Sam breaks up the kiss.

"Did you say the man of your dreams?" he asks, smiling.

"No. I mean, I..." stutters Paul.

''He said it,'' confirms Elena, shouting from the bottom of the stairs, ''At the table for lovers.''

Sam goes down the stairs first. He looks at Emile, who looks at him as well.

''Sorry'' he says softly as he runs his hand through his hair ''I promise I'll wake up Paul to go for a run in the morning if he forgets.''

Emile smiles and then nods his head.

''You can come with us, if you want.'' said Emile, shaking his hand. 

Sam nods his head and smiles.

"You don't have to."

"Unless you don't think you can keep up," Emile winked defiantly at him.

''I'll get dressed.'' Sam nods his head.

"What?" interrupts them, Paul, "I thought we were going to eat."

"We're going for a run," the two boys replied at the same time.

"Let the battle begin," laughs Eliott as he goes back to bed.

Sam comes back down two minutes later with his sweat "Don't speak." and a big smile on his face. 

  
Lucas watches the three of them leave a little worried. Not really worried, because he knows Emile and he knows that even though he is impulsive and very protective of Paul, he is not violent.   
He probably didn't expect to see Emile and Sam walk through the door an hour later, laughing at Paul behind them.

''Damn, you're really good,'' said Emile as he bumped Sam's fist.

''It's my job. I got to run as fast as I can to stop the players. So yeah, I run fast."

''You look so skinny.'' Emile says looking at him.

"Uh... thanks?"

Paul finally comes in, out of breath.

''Fucking Emile, you're abusing it. We don't usually run like this."

Emile looks at him and raises his eyebrows.

''You're going to have to work hard, Paulo. Your boyfriend looks like he's got a lot more stamina than you do."

Lucas' throat clearing signals his presence once again.

''Okay. I'm going in. See you guys later" Emile says before walking out the door and leaving the two boys to face Lucas and Elliot.

"Okay, boys" begins Eliott waving at them as they sit down. "Elena's in the shower. We're going to have to clear the air."

''I'm really, really sorry about last night and the night before that'' Sam says quietly and looks down. Paul takes her hand and whispers to her that it's okay.

"I know, Sam. We'd love for you to make an appointment with Eliott's therapist so you can release your anger. Elliot's going in on Monday. He could make an appointment for you."

''Okay, but not until Wednesday, please."

Sam looks at Paul squirming in his chair. He understands that Paul's been keeping something from him about his father, but he doesn't say anything.

''However'' continues Lucas ''we'll have to talk about the boarding school." 

"No way we change rooms!" Paul says, looking at his fathers. 

"Oh Paul, calm down," suggests Lucas. "We haven't said anything yet. You've shouted enough for the whole day. We were your age, you know. When I was your age, I was already living in collocation with Mika."

Eliott and Lucas smile and start giggling softly, which makes Paul very, very uncomfortable.

''We both know it wouldn't do any good to separate. And it's clear that bringing Sam to the principal's attention is out of the question."

"So?" asked Paul in amazement.

"So, we just need to make sure you're... serious."

Sam turns as red as Paul and Paul starts stammering "Dad...No...We...don't...at all."

He takes a deep breath, lets go of Sam's hand and calmly repeats, "Dad, we're not here. We're not here at all. We're good together. But we're... we're not exploring."

"Okay" says Lucas, "but sometimes..."

''No buts, dad. We're not there yet. We'll talk about it when the time comes. I promise. I don't... I..." Paul starts babbling.

He looks at Sam out of the corner of his eye. They never talked about it, but Sam knows that Paul doesn't consider himself gay. He knows he's not really attracted to boys, and he's not necessarily comfortable with what might happen under the covers.

''If you want'' says Sam calmly, ''I can promise you that we won't do any activities in our room. Not until we talk."

"What?" Paul groans, causing Sam to blush and his fathers to laugh.

"Okay," finally Eliott says "not until we talk practices and risks."

The boys agree and Paul stands up, ready to drag Sam out of the conversation.

"Last question" announces Lucas.

"Oh, Daddy! This is turning into an interrogation now." Paul groans.

"What are you doing for the rest of the holidays?" Lucas asks, looking at Sam.

"Nothing, I'm staying at boarding school. I'll take the opportunity to read and do my homework."

"You can stay here as long as you want. I'm not even asking Paul's permission, it's written all over his face."

Sam turns his head to Paul, who smiles broadly. 

"I'd love to. Thank you" replies Sam softly before following Paul to his room.

"I'm sorry" he says as he embraces him, "my dads love to talk about embarrassing things."

"It's for our own good, Paul. Don't you worry. It's cool."

''I'm sorry. I feel like the worst boyfriend ever. I just can't..."

''You're the best boyfriend.'' Cut Sam off before you kiss him. ''Kissing you is good enough for me. Being with you is enough for me. If you want to try things later, I'd love to, but if not, you're good enough for me."

"So," Paul asks, laughing, "did you make a commitment?"

"Technically, I said 'in our room' so maybe we can explore, like at a shelter or something." 

Paul feels Sam's smile on his lips as he kisses his neck.

"Oh," Paul blushes, "smart! Sneaky, but smart! I like that."

"Where in your room?" Sam continues, kissing him on the other side of the neck.

"With a house full of Demaury? I doubt it!" laughed Paul before capsizing him, under his own weight, on his bed so he could kiss him.

They take off their sweaters and end up in tee shirts and sports shorts, kissing and letting their hands gently wander over each other's bodies.

The doorbell starts ringing non-stop and Paul starts laughing in the kiss.

''I'm sorry. It's Mika. They told Mika. I can't believe they told Mika." Paul looks up at the sky and then looks up at Sam again, looking sorry. "I apologize in advance for everything that's about to happen. I'm gonna kill them."

Paul quickly kisses him one last time and then straightens up. He's about to get up when his bedroom door opens.

''My God, it's true. My baby kitten is a big boy with a boy." Mika screams and claps her hands.

Paul's face turns red and he starts babbling as he gets up from Sam.

''Sam, this is Mika. Mika. ...Sam."

Sam stands up and reaches out his hand to Mika, who ignores him and hugs him.

''Nice to meet you, Sam. I'm Mika. Lucas' former roommate and full-time guru, still today. Oh, my God, your eyes. Shit, it's beautiful."

''You were never my guru,'' yells Lucas from downstairs, which makes Mika laugh.

''Don't listen to him. Oh, my God, Paul. That is so cute. Don't blush. I feel like I'm seeing his father again the first time I caught him with Elliot. If you have any questions, I'm here." He turns to Sam and says, "I have no taboos."

"And no sense of privacy" grumbles Paul.

''And an unmatched sense of style. How are you dressed, boys? Or rather, why are you still dressed?"

''Okay, that's enough, baby.'' Camille said as she pulled him out of the boys' room. He pushes him out of the room and then comes back to kiss Paul and then Sam. "I'm Camille. I'm married to this crazy man. Don't pay any attention to him."

"I'm Sam, but you probably already know that. Nice to meet you," says Sam, laughing.

Camille looks at him funny but gives him a big smile before leaving the room.

"Well done, man" Paul says, pushing Sam's shoulder "you passed the Camille's test. It's a no-fault."

"Don't call your boyfriend, man." moans Mika in the hallway. "Lucas, you really haven't learned anything from my teaching."

Paul takes a long, exaggerated sigh and drops down on the bed.

"We'll meet you downstairs" Mika screams as she comes downstairs.

"I'm really, really sorry," excuses Paul, hiding his face in his hands. "This family is hell."

Sam climbs into bed and sits on Paul's lap before taking his hands off his face.

''It's all right, Paul. That's funny. Your family is so funny."

''It's so embarrassing...'' groans Paul.

"It's so much love" says Sam. 

Paul shrugs his shoulders and smiles. Sam goes to the shower first and Paul asks him to wait in his room while he takes his own.   
But of course, when he comes back to his room, it's empty. Paul throws his towel on his desk chair and hurries downstairs.  
He hears Mika and guesses that they are all in the living room.

''But why would a 17-year-old boy want to do this to himself?'' asks Mika.

''At first, I fell in by chance. It was the most time-consuming sport, so it gave me an extra opportunity to stay late at school. And then my dad was happy because it was a manly sport. But now I play for me. I like to challenge my body and push myself. I like the atmosphere of the team. And I like being able to tackle other people."

"You bet I do," Mika says, laughing.

"Not because of the close contact, not because of the locker room," he adds, looking at Mika. "But because every time I stop an opponent, I feel like I'm the strongest, for once. And because that's what's expected of me, it makes me proud. I really like being out on the field and giving my best for the team. That's it."

''Oh, the jocks...'' Lucas complains.

''In sports, I never liked the locker room part'' laughs Mika.

Paul comes and sits next to Sam and puts his hand in his own.

"And where are you from?" Camille asks him, interested.

"Where I come from?" asks Sam, who's a little confused.

"Do your parents live far away so you can't come home for the holidays?"

Paul shakes Sam's hand while Lucas opens his mouth but Sam speaks first.

''No. Paris. I grew up in the 7th grade. But we're out of touch."

Mika takes one look at Lucas before she looks at Sam again.

''Okay. If you need anything, you call me. We know it's hard to be alone at 17."

''It's okay'' confirms Sam, ''and then I'm gonna be 18 real soon, so it'll be easier.''

Paul jumps on the couch and pulls his arm out.

''What? By soon, you mean..."

''I mean in three days'' says Sam timidly, ''That's why. From Wednesday, I'm an adult and I can make appointments without my parents' consent" he added to Eliott and Lucas.

''And you were going to go back to boarding school and celebrate by yourself?'' Surprised Paul.

''I wasn't planning on celebrating anything.'' Sam admits. 

Paul looks at him with a grin on his face and then turns to his parents. 

''Okay. I want the house Tuesday night. Is that possible?"

"No," stops him, Sam. 

"Okay?" asks Paul without paying attention to Sam.

"Okay. We'll find something to do." confirms Eliott.

"I don't want to celebrate." complains Sam, half sulking.

"I want to celebrate." Paul says sweetly and then gives him a quick kiss. 

"Oh, my baby kitten..." exclaims Mika visibly happy.

Paul looks up at the sky and gets up, dragging Sam along. 

"We're going to Emile's."

They spend all day playing video games with Emile. Sam and Emile finally get along and are having a lot of fun beating Paul. Paul feels a little frustrated to be the subject of mockery from the two boys but he is happy to see them having fun together.   
Ambre is away for the weekend but she will be back on Tuesday. Paul has no worries that she will love Sam. She's always had a weakness for bad boys. She'd love her sweat "Fuck You".  
  
After dinner, Eliott and Lucas announce they're going to the movies while Elena sleeps at her best friend's house.   
The two boys soon find themselves on Paul's bed as soon as everyone has left.

"Can I ask you a question?" Paul asks, moving away from his lips, his face becoming serious again.

"Of course."

"Why don't you like your name?"

"I wanted to change my life. I wanted to forget my past. So when I signed up, I figured if I never heard from Samuel Mallay again, he wouldn't be a part of me."

"And it works?"

Sam laughs. "No. I see him in my mirror every morning."

"And I look at him in my bed every morning," Paul says softly, holding him close, "and it's just perfect. I love you, Samuel. You're a beautiful person. You're more than I ever dreamed you would be. I'll use your first name, to remind you that Samuel doesn't have to disappear. He's the one I love. Sam or Samuel, it doesn't matter, it's you I love."

Paul really kisses him and Sam's hands are all over him. When he takes his shirt off, Paul can't help but ask him the question that's been on his mind for the past week.

"Samuel?"

"Hmm?" he grunts and grimace.

"I was wondering, have you ever?"

Sam lets go of his lover's lips, and gazes into his eyes. "No, not really. I just...touched."

"Okay." Paul says as he kisses her.

"But I've never felt what you make me feel. I feel awful when I think back on the fact that I touched that bastard. It was only once, but I hate myself for doing it."

''Hey it's Okay Sam. It's all in the past. We are the future.."

''And you Paul?''

''I've never been with a guy.''

Sam looks up to the sky.

''I know. But with the girls?''

Paul shakes his head.

''No. My last girlfriend would've been up for it, but I didn't feel ready. But with you, it's so different. Now I know it wasn't me who wasn't ready, it just wasn't the right person. ''

A huge smile crosses Sam's face and Paul sees a sign. He gets up, and for the first time since he's been living there, closes the lock on his door. He smiles and kisses Sam. He wants him to forget all about it. Forget everything he's been through. He wants Sam to feel loved. So he takes care of him. He kisses him, on his neck, on his chest, all over his face. He caresses him, everywhere. He experiences the things he thinks Sam would like, the things he would like Sam to do to him, but he refuses to swap roles. He likes Sam to trust him with it all. What he wants is to see Sam undone, panting and happy. Paul strokes him, until Sam can't stand it any longer and shouts his name. And they fall asleep huddled together.


	10. It's love song

In the end, he shouldn't have locked his bedroom door. Paul woke up first, looked at Sam asleep on his arm, and then kissed him gently. Sam woke up gently, under the kisses of his lover. They kissed for a while, and then Sam's stomach began to reason. So Paul decided to get up and opened his door, forgetting the lock. When he realized this, he tried to unlock the lock, but he couldn't.  
After trying for ten minutes, they realized that it was impossible. They had to ask for help.

So Paul knocked on his door, suspecting that someone would pass in the hallway. It is finally Lucas who comes to their rescue.

"Locked in, eh?" he says laughing.

"Dad, please... you can help us!"

"I don't know... what do I get in return?"

"The right to talk to us, I guess," Paul says blushing. 

"Things change quickly at 17. I'm going to get your father."

"Oh, Daddy..." Paul would have done without having to justify locking his door... even though he knows that everyone already knows why he did it.

"I don't touch tools, you know that. No secrets in the Demaury household, darling."

"And no privacy...sorry," Paul says, turning to Sam.

"That's clear," confirms Lucas. "No privacy."

Five minutes later, the boys hear the sound of a screwdriver and the door opens. Eliott has just unscrewed all the hinges on the wall to remove the door.

"Indeed," laughs Sam, "no more privacy."

"I'll put it back" promises Eliott "maybe one day..." and he comes down the stairs laughing. 

While drinking his coffee, Lucas asks, "So, the lock... shall we talk about it?"

"Sorry," only says Sam blushing.

"Oh Sam," Paul whispers to him, "there's nothing to be sorry about. Shit. Especially with everything I know about my dads. Dads. I love Sam. He loves me. We're not doing anything dangerous. We're not there yet, but we'll be careful anyway.I love you Dads. But I don't want you to imagine you or give us advice." 

He watches Eliott about to open his mouth but stops him.

''Closet under the sink, I know. Thank you." 

He pretends to get up, but his dad stops him.

"Sit down, Paul," Lucas says softly, before explaining to them what he means by being careful. It's not just about choosing to use condoms, or to be exclusive, it's about listening to each other, being patient, talking, being ready. 

In the end the discussion is not really embarrassing and the boys are quite happy. Sam feels so accepted in this family that is not his own.

They spend the day chatting with Emile and then walking around the town where Paul shows Sam all his favourite spots. 

''Someday we'll go to my neighbourhood and I'll show you all that, too.'' Sam promises him as they return home in the late afternoon.

He hasn't been back to his neighbourhood for more than a year and doesn't imagine doing so for fear of meeting his parents or former team-mates. But the idea of showing Paul his childhood memories still makes him smile. 

Tonight, they all eat in the living room, the pizzas made by Lucas and Sam. Sam just wanted to help to feel useful, but in the end he enjoyed cooking with Lucas. And he laughed a lot at eliott's wacky proposals. While thanking Lucas for not listening to her husband. He understands better now the mandatory safe distance between Elliot and the kitchen. Paul looks at his boyfriend out of the corner of his eye. He's never seen him eat so much. And he can't even find words strong enough to express how much he enjoys that. They watch Elena's favorite movie before she goes to bed. The parents are out in the kitchen and the boys are alone in the living room.  
Eliott is about to go upstairs to bed, intimidating Lucas to follow him, when he hears the sound of the piano. He can't help but pass in front of the living room but stay back. He shouldn't, but he can't help but listen with a smile on his face.

"If Daddy saw you touch his piano, he'd probably kill you..." Paul says with a laugh before getting back to being super serious "Oh, fuck, Samuel, I'm so stupid."

Eliott hears the couch springs crack and assumes that Paul has just joined Sam to apologize for his clumsiness. 

"Don't worry. You can laugh at everything, but not with everyone, right?"

Paul kisses Sam, who presses down on a few notes of music.

"Play for me, Paul. I know you're playing."

"How do you know that??""

"I've had time to look at all the pictures in the house... and there are several where you're sitting at that piano with Lucas or alone."

Paul sits on the bench and looks at it with a smile on his face. "Okay. What do you want?"

"Whatever you want. Oh, no, I know. The song you could play with your eyes closed. The one you'd rather play."

"Okay."

And Paul plays "I Love You" by Rioppy. His dads' song. The first one he learned, week after week with Lucas when he was five or six.

Lucas wraps his arms around Eliott, still in the corridor, and they listen to Paul play.

"It's really beautiful. You play so well. I guess it's a love song" Sam says softly, kissing his cheek.

"It's called "I Love You" laughs Paul "so, yeah. Daddy loves to play it."

"Another one, please." 

''Okay. This one, though, is just perfect for you." 

Paul starts to play and feels Sam startled when he starts to sing. Good thing he knows he's singing right.

_His eyes, his eyes_  
_Make the stars look like they're not shinin'_  
_His hair, his hair_  
_Falls perfectly without his trying_  
_He's so beautiful._  
_And I tell him everyday.  
_

_I know, I know, I know._  
_When I compliment him, he won't believe me._  
_And it's so, it's so..._  
_Sad to think that he doesn't see what I see..._  
_But every time he asks me, "Do I look okay? »_  
_I say..._

_When I see your face_  
_There's not a thing that I would change._  
_Cause you're amazing._  
_Just the way you are_

_And when you smile_  
_The whole world stops and stares for a while..._  
_Cause boy you're amazing._  
_Just the way you are_

_His lips, his lips_  
_I could kiss them all day if he'd let me..._  
_His laugh, hos laugh_  
_He hates but I think it's so sexy._  
_He's so beautiful._  
_And I tell him everyday.  
_

_Oh, you know, you know, you know_  
_I'd never ask you to change_  
_If perfect's what you're searching for_  
_Then just stay the same._

_So don't bother asking if you look okay_  
_You know I'll say_

_When I see your face  
There's not a thing that I would change.   
Cause you're amazing.   
Just the way you are._

_Just the way you are._

Paul takes his hands off the keyboard and smiles as he turns to Sam.

"If you only knew how much I love you! " says Sam, drawing Paul against him and kissing him.

Lucas drags Eliott by the arm and they leave for their room, happy and proud.

And if they hear the sound of two teenagers falling off the piano bench and laughing at having fallen, Eliott et Lucas holding back from laughing. At least before they close their bedroom door.


	11. Family

"Good Morning Daddy" almost sings Paul when he gets to the breakfast table.

"Well, you're in a good mood this morning." Lucas remarks, "Aren't you running?"

Paul shakes his head as he opens the fridge.

"No. Tomorrow. I didn' want to get out of bed early this morning."

Lucas nearly chokes on his coffee and starts laughing.

"Good morning, Lucas." Sam says softly.

Lucas smiles. His sweetness and shyness don't go at all with his provocative sweaters. On this one this morning, a tornado soaks up and destroys the headlines

''le tourbillon de la vie'', ''la vie en rose'', ''à quoi ça sert l'amour'' and ''j'men fout pas mal''.

"Edith Piaf, huh?" Lucas asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I love the sound of her voice." Sam admits, pulling up a chair.

"Has Daddy left yet?" Paul asks, frowning.

"No. He's asleep." Lucas says, looking at him, "Maybe he's just tired. I don't know really.''

"We're going out today." Paul cuts him off. "The house will be quiet."

Lucas nods his head while having a quiet chat with his son. Paul lets go of his father's gaze as he shakes his head, his cheeks a little red. 

Paul sends a message to Emile then goes up to his room to get some things. Sam follows him without saying anything.

''I have something to tell you.'' Paul says softly as he sits on the bed.

"I suppose it has something to do with your father." Sam replies just as softly, "You don't owe me anything."

Paul seems surprised.

"I owe you everything. I don't want to keep anything from you, Samuel. But it's just... it's like I need to protect my father."

"From me?" Sam wonders.

''From everyone. I don't want people to only see his disease. It's like with Camille. When people find out he's deaf, everyone starts talking to him differently or ignoring him. But you don't. Of course you don't. You didn't even fucking hesitate for a second."

Sam smiles and takes Paul's hand in his and then brings it to his lips to kiss him.

''My father has bipolar disorder... So sometimes he has manic episodes where he does crazy or dangerous things, and sometimes he gets so depressed he can go days without getting out of bed."

''And there's nothing we can do to help him? ''

Paul looks at Sam like he's got a second head.

"You're really unbelievable," he finally says, ''No. With his medication and therapy, he's holding it together. He's had more depressive than manic phases in years. We can just wait. Aren't you afraid of all this?"

Sam shakes his head and smiles.

"Afraid of your father? No. He's much too nice. Mine's supposed to be normal, and he's a monster. I see all the love that comes from your dads, you know. I'm sure even in a crisis, your dad never put you in danger."

"That's true." Paul says, "He's frightened us before, but he's always the one who puts himself in danger."

"Ready, guys?" asks Emile, sticking his head through the door frame. "Why don't you have a door anymore, Paulo?"

Paul and Sam look at his puzzled face and burst out laughing.

''They've locked themselves in,'' explains Elena as she comes up to them. ''So Dad took the door down.''

"I guess we'll have to wait before Daddy can put it back in." Paul laughs.

Sam grabs his bag and laughs. The three of them are coming down the stairs and Sam can't help but see Lucas' sad face. He approaches him and puts a hand on his shoulder, which makes Lucas startle lost in his thoughts. 

Lucas looks at him smiling and shakes his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine."

''I'm worried about you, Lucas. Is there anything we can do to help?"

Lucas looks at Paul, Emile and Elena putting their shoes on in the hallway.

''Bring back lunch, that'll be fine. Thank you, Sam."

"Thanks to you, Lucas."

''Have you skated yet, Sam?'' Elena asks when he joins them.

"Nope. Never"

"Well, here we go then. Expect to feel as free as a bird!'' said Emile as he dragged him out of the house, taking him by the arm under Lucas' amused gaze.   


It's a bit crowded, but for a Saturday morning, it's okay. They put on their skates and Elena gets on the ice first. She looks super comfortable. Seems easy after all. So Sam gets on the ice and in less than 10 seconds, is on his ass.   
Paul's already behind him, helping him up. Sam feels like he's the only one on the ice who's having such a hard time... With every move he seems ready to fall back down. He practises a little by holding on to the edge and then takes the hand that Paul holds out to him and lets go of the edge. Emile comes to hold his other hand and he manages to move forward without making them fall. They skate like that for ten minutes, then Emile lets go of his hand. Sam regains his balance, smiles at Paul and Paul lets go of his hand as well. Sam manages to skate alone. He has a huge smile on his face. He's so focused on his balance that he can't see the girl who's running into him, who apparently can't stop either. Sam notices her too late, but doesn't know what to do. They hit each other and end up on the ground together. The girl bursts out laughing and Sam imitates her. Paul, Emile and Elena appear around them, along with another girl. Sam laughs so hard that he can barely get back on his feet, even with Paul's help. The girl apologizes for her clumsiness and starts skating again.  
Paul takes Sam to the middle of the rink, turns him around so that he faces him and steals a kiss from her.

''I'm testing your body temperature. You're cold, Sam." And then Paul steals a second kiss.

They go skating together again, holding hands again for what seems like an eternity. Sam cold, his legs hurt, his feet hurt, but he has no desire to stop. It's Elena who tells them that they're going to have to leave the track if they want to be on time to eat.

They hang around the track for a few more minutes, while Elena and Emile are already in the changing rooms. As the lovers put their shoes back on, they are already outside the door waiting for them. The girl who hit Sam appears, as well as the girl who accompanied her.

''We just wanted to tell you that you're both so cute.''

Paul puts his head up out of his shoes and looks at Sam. "Uh, thank you."

"We were wondering. Do you wanna go out tonight? Not a party, huh. Just the four of us."

Sam looks at Emile waiting for them by the door. He doesn't have time to open his mouth till he hears Paul's answer.

"Sorry, we're busy."

"Ah. Because if you want to...''

"We're not free" continues Paul.

"Ah. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, I have a boyfriend, and he's sitting next to me" said Paul, nodding to Sam.

The girls look at each other and a big smile comes over their faces.

''Ah. So it's not just because he's lame that you were holding his hand. Okay. Sorry. Damn, that makes you even cuter!"

And they leave, leaving the boys smiling stupidly.

"I'm not lame" laughs Sam as he walks out of the rink.

"No" reassures Paul, "but I like to let you think that so I can hold your hand. Anyway, she was telling the truth, you're really cute."

''Thanks a lot, that was really great.'' Sam said, looking at Paul, Emile and then Elena. 

''I'm glad you like it.'' Emile laughed as he took her by the arm, ''and thanks to you. I've never seen Paul so marshmallowy before! _you're really cute, baby_ does he make fun by taking a silly voice.

The four laugh and Paul gives a nice pat on the arm of his bestfriend.

"Ice skating as a family, there's nothing better," concluded Elena. 

They stop for groceries on the way and Sam picks out all the stuff to make lasagna. He pushes Paul slightly to the side so that he can payed the groceries despite his disagreement.  
Emile leaves them as they pass his house. He lives in the street perpendicular to the Demaury's. Elena walks a few steps in front of them. 

''Can I ask you something?'' Paul asks, pushing his shoulder over Sam's.

''Sure. Anything for you."

"You don't have to answer," Paul warns her.

"Keep trying." Sam smiles at him as he readjusts the shopping bag in his arms.

"How do you get the money?"

Sam smiles and relaxes. He was expecting a worse question than that.

''I got a scholarship to school. My parents don't think I have one, but I gave my G.I.N. instead of theirs. That way, I get the money directly into my account. I pay the boarding school and the canteen with it and I have some left over for extras. Nothing illegal."

"I didn't think so." Paul laughs. "I was just wondering."

''Well, here's... usually what I keep on the side, I spend on printing on my sweaters..."

Once back home, Sam and Lucas made lasagna while Paul helped his sister with her math homework, a prerequisite for her sleeping over at Alexandra's tomorrow night. And since Paul wants the house to himself, she didn't have much to say to convince him to help her. 

''If Elliot was in shape, what do you think he'd tell us to add to the sauce?'' Sam asks shyly.

Lucas laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Chocolate, raspberries or chilli... depending on his mood, I guess."

"Paul says a kitchen without crazy ideas isn't a real kitchen." Sam laughs.

Lucas stares at him and smiles and keeps stirring his sauce.

"If you want to talk about it, about his trouble, we can, you know."

Sam thinks and shrugs his shoulders.

''This must be really hard for you, especially. Not being able to do anything like that. I think it would kill me to feel so helpless."

Lucas smiles.

''It was killing me at first. When I was your age... Now I'm dealing with it. It's hard, but I know there's nothing I can do about it. So we just enjoy the good times and forget about the bad times."

He stops and looks at Sam nodding his head "Minute by minute, huh. I like that principle."

''You're a really good person, Sam.'' He says.

Sam's about to speak but Lucas doesn't give him the chance.

''You don't have to know you for a long time to know that you think of others before you think of yourself. You hide behind your apparence but you're a good person. We're very happy to have you as part of our family.

It's the word family that's confusing Sam. He breathes a little deeper to try to hold back his tears and blinks. Lucas takes him in his arms and he's never felt like he was part of a real family before. He's never received so much love in so short a time, that's for sure.


	12. Just an idea

  
"Dad!" Paul complains as he comes into the kitchen, "Stop embarrassing my boyfriend."

Lucas drops Sam with a smile on his face.

"Come on, boys, set the table while I go see my groundhog"

Paul starts laughing. He loves it when Lucas calls Elliot his groundhog, mainly because Elliot hates it and keeps saying he's a raccoon. 

"Do you have any idea what I would be?" Sam asks as he sets the plates.

"What?" asks Paul, who's a little lost in thought.

Sam shows him family portrait, drawn by Eliott, which is on the kitchen wall.

"If your father had to draw me, what do you think I'd look like? He's a raccoon, Lucas is a hedgehog. You're a cat-tiger"

''It's an oncilla,'' explains Paul ''it's an animal that lives in Colombia, half cat, half tiger. Because I'm cute, but I can defend myself." Paul winked at Sam and smiled. 

''And your sister's a frog.'' Sam goes on seriously.

''A wood frog.'' Paul says ''cause they're frogs that can put their hearts on pause. And 'cause Elena used to jump all the time when she was little, even in the hospital."

''So, what do you think I'd be?"

Paul shrugs his shoulders and smiles. ''With Dad, you never know. He says Emile's a sloth."

Sam bursts out laughing.

"I think you'd be a Husky" Eliott announces as he enters the kitchen, causing both boys to marvel.

Sam adds a place setting at the table while Paul looks puzzled.

''I smelled the lasagne, I couldn't resist,'' says Eliott ''I'm fine, buddy. I'm just tired from the last few orders I placed. I'm fine, I promise."

"A husky?" finally asks Sam as Lucas cuts off the lasagna portion.

''They're awesome and scare a lot of people, but they're very sweet and caring. And besides, they often have minnow eyes."

Paul totally agrees and the meal is spent discussing spirit animals and then Sam's drawings.

He makes no comment when Sam tightens a third portion but his smile says a lot about what he thinks.

Paul volunteers to clear, feeling that Sam has done enough by preparing the meal. When he closes the dishwasher, he hears his sister laughing.  
Since the door is still not reinstatement, he discovers Sam lying on his bed, in the middle of a discussion with Elena, who is lying right next to him on her back. Elena's hand rests on Sam's arm. Her head touches Sam's shoulder. Paul has never seen his sister so close to anyone but him. Even with Emile, she always keeps her distance.

''Why did you change your name'' asks Elena as she looks at him.

''I wanted to forget my past. Forget who I was. So I wanted to change my name."

"Then why do you let Paul call you that?" she asks in amazement.

"First of all, because he does it without asking me. And secondly, because I like to hear him call me that. It's so weird. But it makes me feel good. It helps me make peace with myself, I think."

Elena smiles and thinks and says softly, "I've changed, too, you know."

"Have you?" Sam wonders.

"Yeah, when I was adopted. I was four years old. My name was Fatimata. My dads asked me if I wanted to change my name when they applied for adoption so I asked them what they would have called me if I was their biological daughter. They told me directly that it would have been Elena, because it means '' brightness of the sun ". So I asked them to change their name."

"Your dads are really great," Sam said, holding her tight.

"Thank you, Sami. You're great too."

Paul doesn't hold back the clucking sound that comes out of his throat. Sam sees him smiling along the door and opens his arm so they can come and lie on the other side.

''You know,'' continues Elena, ''I've been thinking. For your eyes. If you hate your eyes, why don't you put a contact lens in one of them?"

''Because I don't want to lie about who I am.'' Sam says softly.

Elena's thinking. "But wouldn't that be easier?"

Sam thinks back and then looks at her again.

"If you could change your skin colour, would you do it?"

Elena starts laughing.

"I honestly don't know. I can't imagine myself any other way but the way I am."

"Well, there you go." Sam exclaims. "Even though it makes me look weird in people's eyes, I can't imagine any other way."

"I think it makes you look great" says Elena "and my brother thinks so too. He says he fell in love with you when he lost himself in your mysterious eyes."

"It's true, Sami" laughs Paul.

Elena gets up in bed.

"Oh no, it's my privilege as a little sister to call her that."

Paul frowns but Sam nods.

Elena gets up and laughs. 

"Don't worry, you'll get other privileges" Sam laughs before he kisses her.

"You are nauseating, guys!" Elena moans from the hallway.

The two boys start laughing as they kiss.

"She's right, you know." Paul ends up saying.

Sam looks at him like he's crazy.

"Do you think we're nauseating?"

Paul bursts out laughing.

"No, silly. I fell in love by drowning in your eyes."

Sam seems doubtful.

"Considering I was such a jerk when we first met, I don't think so."

Paul shrugs his shoulders and strokes his cheek as he pushes blonde hair back..

''No. It was the next day, when I looked at you at your desk... I couldn't stop looking at you. You were so troubling."

Paul kisses her gently before he backs away. 

"Samuel, can I ask you a question?"

Sam sits on his side so he can look at him.

"Why did you draw me in the middle of the crowd on the first day of school? I saw you do the draw, I know you started it that night. So, ever since then, I've been wondering, Why... why me?"

Sam smiles and runs his hand through the dark hair.

"And even today you still don't get it?" Sam laughs. "You're really too cute." He kisses him before going on. "On the first day of school, I saw you before I came to school. You looked so happy, cheering up your dad. When I got to the assignment list, you were there, right next to me, and I felt like you were the only one I could see. I imagined you, the only luminous being, among all the shadows around us. And then you pushed me and I wanted to kill you."

"What? I didn't even see that I pushed you. All I saw was that look on your face, that murderous look. And I was on your bad side. Your blue eye is less scary than your black eye."

Sam laughs "Anything. I've never heard such nonsense before."

"I swear to God! But before I explain my theory about your eyes, why did you want to kill me?"

Sam runs his hand through his hair and then puts it on Paul's cheek.

''Because it was you. All I could see was you. And when you shoved me, I realised you didn't even see me. I could see that you didn't even realize it. Like I was invisible. It made me feel really bad. And when I found out you were my roommate, I was still mad. So when you took my bed, I was so angry."

Sam holds Paul close.

  
''I'm really sorry about that, Paul. I love you so much. I've been such a jerk. I had no desire to share a room with you. I've been living on my own for the last year and I didn't want that to change. All I could think about that day was myself. And I've been so mad at myself ever since. You've brought me so much. I'm so happy you're sharing my life with me. I swear to God, if I could do it all over again, I'm not gonna tell you about the bed first."

Paul looks at him tenderly and pulls back the hair that's falling down on his forehead.

  
"It's forgotten, you know. And now I like it when you tell me about the bed, you know. That's also why I finally took your bed. It's silly, but I thought maybe you'd make a mistake one night, and come sleep with me."

''You bet...I made you come over here after I kicked your face.'' Sam groans.

"First of all, you were asleep," Paul cuts him off, "and most importantly, you never forced me. I didn't force me to do anything. The only reason I slept with you that night was to make you feel good. And because it made me feel good, too."

Paul kisses her all over her face to make her forget all the bad memories.

''Now tell me about your theory about my eyes...'' cuts Sam off with a smile. ''The husky inside me can't wait to hear this.''

The boys start giggling.

''The first two times you looked at me, all I saw was your dark eye. You looked so angry. Well, now I know why. Sorry. But the first time I saw your other profile and discovered your blue eye, you were laughing with Allan. About me... but never mind. You seemed so sweet, so funny. You did. That's why I couldn't take my eyes off you."

"OK...so I'm two-faced."

"No. You're just beautiful. When I look into your eyes, I feel like I'm looking at two people: Sam, who's always playful, who's funny, who takes care of his friends; and Samuel, who's recovering from his wounds, who draws what's in his heart and forgets himself too often."

Sam is really amazed by this description of himself. Because that's totally how he feels. Between Sam and Samuel. He whispers his question, afraid of the answer.

"And which one do you prefer?"

Paul laughs and hugs him. ''None, idiot. It's you. Just you. I love you. You're the whole package. And I love you for that."

They kiss tenderly and are soon interrupted by Elena.

"Nauseating!" she confirms, "OK. The parents accompany me to my dance class. They're busy in town. So you're house-sitting, OK?"

"Close the door behind you." confirms Paul. "Dance well." And he whispers in Sam's ear ''I've got a good idea to take advantage of this empty house.''

As soon as the door slams shut, Paul rides piggyback on Sam. He kisses her on the neck, which makes Sam shudder. He kisses his jaw, bites his lips, kisses his chin and rides back down his neck. He gently bites Sam's skin and immediately soothes the sensation by running his tongue over it.  
When Sam moans, Paul places his hand against his mouth as a reflex.

"Sorry, Sam. I don't know why I did that. Sorry."

''Do you want to stop?'' asks a worried Sam, looking at Paul through his tousled blond hair.

''No. Please don't. I want to. I want you to touch me" begs Paul softly. Normally, he'd be ashamed to beg someone like that, especially a boy. But now, with Sam, it just seems so natural to him. He can't even imagine asking her to stop.

Sam starts kissing Paul again, but he lets his hands walk all over him. He takes off his shirt and takes off his at the same time. He lies down on top of him and the heat from Paul's chest burns his skin. Paul is startled when Sam's cold chest touches him but he holds him as tightly as he can.   
Sam unzips Paul's pants button and lets his hand in so he can pet Paul over his boxers.  
He looks at Paul as he bites his lips not to make any noise and kisses him more deeply while slipping his hand under his underwear. Paul bends over and Sam takes the opportunity to kiss him on the neck, biting him gently in places.   
Paul spins them so that Sam is by his side. He kisses him in the neck, on the chest, on the arms, then comes back to his lips and slides his hand over him. They caress each other in rhythm while kissing. Sam looks at Paul and puts him on his back so he can kiss him on his chest and then on his stomach. He looks up at Paul who nods gently, then takes him in his mouth. Paul moans unrestrainedly. And Sam doesn't stop. He doesn't want to stop. And Paul's movements assure him that he doesn't want to stop either. He doesn't stop until Paul explodes, leaving him totally calm. Sam is so proud to see his boyfriend totally fulfilled, totally messed up.

He lies down beside him, takes his head and puts it on his shoulder. Paul turns around so he can look at Sam, and strokes his chest. Like a massage to put him to sleep. But soon, the massage becomes very sensual and Paul's hands go lower. Paul kisses his chest before covering his belly with kisses.

"You don't have to do this, Paul" Sam says to him softly, Sam.

''I don't feel obligated to do anything. But if you don't feel like it, just tell me. If you don't like it, tell me too."

"I want," admits Sam, "of course I want. But I know you're not especially comfortable being with a boy"

''I am comfortable with you. Sam. I don't even want to think about it. I want you to feel comfortable. I want to show you how much I love you. I want to make love to you, Samuel. But not right now. Right now I want to know your body on the tip of my lips."

And Paul kisses his lover's chest again. He doesn't think. He lets his senses do their work and finds out what Sam likes. Sam loves it when Paul's lips rest on her nipples. So Paul abuses them. Sam shivers when Paul caresses his thighs, grazing his parts, without really touching them. He starts stroking Sam, then while continuing, licks the tip. He feels Sam's desire to swell, and he takes it all in his mouth. The muffled sounds that Sam retains make Paul want to take it even more. He gently caresses him while he sucks it, and Sam loves it. He moans without any restraint and without any shame either. When Sam arrives, he moans Paul's name with a voice so hoarse that Paul feels an electric current throughout his body.  
They fall asleep totally undone, but happy in Paul's slightly damp bed.

When Sam wakes up, everything is calm. He has only slept for half an hour. Paul is next to him, lying on his stomach and sleeping with his mouth half open. Sam gently caresses his companion's back and starts to think. He looks around and smiles. He gets up slowly, grabs a felt pen from the desk and gets back into bed. He starts drawing on the back of his lover. His drawing comes to life immediately. Paul's curves are perfect, just as he imagined them in his head.  
He contemplates his work, and happy with himself, takes a picture and goes back to sleep.

It is the sound of a slamming door that wakes them up. Paul hears Elena talking to their dads. He doesn't have time to grab a T-shirt that she already has on her doorstep.

"Oh, shit!" she exclaims, she surprises "DAD!" She yells out to the stairs, "You really have to give my brother his door!"

''Fucking Elé'' yells out to Paul, waving him off. 

Sam stretches out and painfully opens his eyes smiling. Paul gets out of bed, wrapped in the duvet, leaving the sheet for Sam and goes to look for his clothes scattered on the floor of his room. 

His sister walks past his room again, laughing and then starts to scream.

''Oh, my God! Dads! Paul's got a huge tattoo!"

She's just finishing her sentence and Elliot and Lucas are already on the doorstep.

"I don't have a tattoo," pest Paul. "Get out of my room."

"Show your back," asked Elena confidently.

"It's not a tattoo," said Sam softly, still wrapped in sheets, sitting on Paul's bed, and redder than ever. "I'm sorry, Paul."

Paul turns to Sam, frowning.

"Enormous!" says Elliot, in admiration.

''What's the matter with me?'' asks Paul, trying to look over his shoulder, in vain. To his sister's smiles, he looks up at Sam. ''Damn, Sam, did you give me hickeys again?"

Everyone bursts out laughing and Sam hands him his phone to show him the draw he took last night. Paul discovers that he has a picture that covers half his back. It's a black and white fireworks display, but it looks so real that Paul feels like he can hear it exploding.

''Why have you been drawing on me? I've got leaves too, you know." Paul laughs. 'It's beautiful. It's a fucking firework display. I feel like I can feel it exploding."

''I'm glad you like it. All I found in your office is an indelible marker."

There's an immediate sense of silence in the room.

"No, are you kidding me?" As he looks down, everyone bursts out laughing again. 

''Of course they do. It'll come out in the shower." Sam laughs.

''I'm gonna get a tattoo of your fireworks'' Paul says, looking at Sam. 

Sam, Elliot and Lucas answer "no way" at the same time.

So Paul sighs and goes to take a shower, unhappy that he has to erase Sam's work.

Paul has barely come out of the shower, leaving Sam's place, when his father unloads the screwdriver in his hand.

''Okay. I hope you didn't traumatize your sister" said Eliott as he put the door back in place.

''We were asleep.'' Paul explains. ''We were just sleeping. Not really dressed, okay. But we were asleep.''

''Okay. That's good. We bought a new lock." Shows his dad "so the fireworks are private. That's better."

"Thanks, Dad."

And Eliott tests the lock, winking at his son.

"If you have any questions..."

"I know, you're here" Paul repeats mechanically.

And Elliot stops.

''Yeah. Or your dad. Or Mika. Or Camille. You have a choice."

''Or we can find out for ourselves.'' Paul concludes.

''It's a good idea, too.'' He concludes as he leaves the room.


	13. Happy Birthday

Tuesday comes much too fast for Sam's taste. He kept telling Paul that he didn't really want to celebrate his birthday, but he knows that he doesn't listen to him. 

They both leave for a run at 6:45. When they come back, Eliott, Lucas and Elena are all three sitting around the kitchen table, in front of a chocolate cake.

"Happy birthday, Sam."

Sam freezes in place and bursts into tears. He looks panicked and looks out the front door. He takes a step in his direction, but already Paul's arms are embracing him, forcing him to stay there. He soon finds himself surrounded by the arms of the whole family.

"Birthday hug," laughs Elena. "It's a tradition. You'll get used to it, I promise."

"I'm sorry," excuses Sam, wiping his eyes, "that's just too much. You're too much."

He looks at Paul worried and pulls himself together.

"In a good way," he says. "You give me so much. Thank you.Thank you so much."

"Come and blow out your candles," Elena orders, lighting them.

And Paul finds himself blowing out the candles, surrounded by all the love of the Demaurys. It's like he's dreaming until Eliott hands him a gift.

"Are you kidding me?" he asks as he looks at him.

''Hey. You're 18 years old. That's a hell of a way to go. So let us give you a little present. It's really not that big a deal."

Sam looks at Paul as he shrugs his shoulders and smiles. He gently unwraps the paper and pulls out a blue sweater. On it is the keyboard of a piano, with "Just the way you are" written on the white keys.

"Dad," says Paul, looking Eliott "it's too beautiful."

"Hey, it's my idea", Lucas is indignant but laughs "I gave my instructions, even though it was Eliott who did the drawing."

"It's beautiful" confirms Sam, clutching the sweater. "Thank you both."

"Here's Sami," said Elena, slipping him a present.

Sam smiles and gently removes the paper to discover a picture board covered with photos of their outing at the ice rink. In the middle is a picture of them kissing in the middle of the ice. Sam laughs as he sees a picture of himself on his buttocks. In the photo at the bottom right, all four of them are smiling. 

''Thank you, Elena, that's so beautiful. It'll look great on our bedroom wall, so we'll see it every day."

Sam wipes the tears from the corner of his eyes and they eat that famous chocolate cake, listening to Eliott complain it would have been better with cardamom in it.

Elena leaves in the afternoon to go to Alexandra's. Eliott and Lucas leave at about 7pm, reminding the rules of the house. 

"No orgies in your bed, I know," laughed Paul as he closed the door. 

He doesn't even have time to join Sam in the living room when the doorbell rings. Amber is standing in front of his door. She kisses him, gets rid of her things, puts the cake she brings in Paul's arms and runs across the corridor almost running to the living room.

''Sam. I'm Amber. I'm so happy to meet you. Happy birthday to you. To the fucking eyes you have. If Paul's not up for it anymore, I am." She says with a wink.

Paul laughs and pushes away his best friend while wrapping his arm around Sam's waist.

''Sorry, he's mine. Just mine."

"It's nice to meet you too, Amber. Emile and Paul have told me so much about you," Sam says as he hugs her.

''Didn't Emile traumatize you?'' she asks seriously.

Sam burst out laughing.

''He tried. But he didn't."

The doorbell rings. Paul opens the door, but Sam immediately recognizes Allan and Dimitri's voices.

"He didn't? What are you guys doing here, man?"

"Surprise!" They shout as they jump into his arms.

''But...but you didn't go back to Normandy, Allan?'' 

He bursts out laughing.

"Yes, I did. But I'm your mate. I took the train so I could celebrate your 18th birthday properly. I'm going back tomorrow."

''Fuck, thanks, man. Thank you, guys. Thanks, baby."

"Baby?" exclaims Paul, along with Dimitri and Allan as Amber laughs.

Sam blushes and shrugs his shoulders with a shy smile.

"You're welcome, baby." Paul replies, kissing him. 

The doorbell cuts off their kisses. Emile arrives with what he calls "birthday pizzas" and a packet of beer.   
The atmosphere is super friendly right away. They drink, laugh, chat, play video games and even dance a little.  
At 11pm, Ambre brings the cake she made for the occasion. Dimitri and Allan offer a red sweater with the impression ''I will always love you'' which forms the sign of infinity.

''Now, admit you want to wear it,'' Dimitri laughs.

"Absolutely! Thanks, guys. But how?"

''Paul helped us. Well, Elliot made the graph. He had it printed yesterday along with his own." Allan simply replies.

Sam turns to Paul.

''Okay. I knew about this one, but not this one" he says, pointing to the blue sweatshirt Sam's wearing.

Paul pulls out a little box and hands it to Sam.

''When did you?'' Sam asks, frowning.

''I sent daddy yesterday, during Elena's dance class.'' Paul explains.

Sam gently opens the box and looks at the pendant inside. It's half a heart with the inscription ''Paul'' on it.  
Paul slides his hand under her sweater and brings out the other half, inscribed "Samuel".

Sam stares at it without moving.

"I hesitated'' finally says Paul, pointing to his necklace.

''It's perfect. Fuck, you're so perfect, baby." Sam replies, kissing him as their friends shout at him.  
  
''Okay okay'' says Emile. ''Are you ready? It's game time! It's a birthday tradition."

"Emile" says Amber "Last year you wanted us to play seven minutes in heaven, and I got locked in a closet with Louna for three hours because you forgot about us..."

"The year before that" Paul continues, "I had to kiss Amber at the bottle game... I love you Amber, but it was awful."

"Hush, be quiet" Emile orders. "It's my birthday tradition. Today we're going to play "I Never." We say something we've never done, and those who have must drink their drink. We each get ten drinks. First one to finish is the champion."

"Oh, Emile, a game for grown-ups for once..." laughs Paul.

Dimitri hands out the shots and fills them up. Everyone promises to be honest. Sam sits between Paul and Emile. Next to Paul is Amber, then Dimitri, and then Allan who is next to Emile.

At first, the sentences are cute. Everyone speaks, clockwise. After a few turns, the sentences become more intense.

\- Amber: I've never gotten too drunk: Sam, Emile and Paul empty their glasses.  
\- Dimitri: I have never dyed my hair: Sam drinks.  
\- Allan : I've never been involved in a fight : Sam and Emile drink.  
\- Emile: I've never done drugs: Sam drinks and everyone looks at him.

"Sam" says Paul jokingly: "I think you're reversing the rule. You have to drink when it's something you've already done."

"Uh, yeah," Sam replies embarrassed, "that's what I do. I'm sorry about that." And he goes "Okay, drink up! I've never left France before" and everyone drinks and laughs.

\- Paul: I've never had sex. Emile and Allan toast and look at Sam.

"Sorry guys, I'm not." Paul feels his body relax. He knew that. But from the previous responses, he feels like he doesn't know Sam anymore. Sam takes his hand and strokes his palm with his thumb.

\- Amber: I never skip class: Sam and Emile empty their glasses.  
\- Dimitri: I've never been expelled: Sam drinks.  
\- Allan: I've never been in hospital: Sam drinks with Paul, Ambre and Dimitri.  
\- Emile: I've never been tattooed: Sam drinks.

"What?" spells Paul as he removes his hand : "Wait, are you kidding me? Where?"

"Then Paulo" laughed Emile "you don't know your boyfriend as well as it seems."

"I'm really sorry," said Sam in a small voice, as he stood up and turned around. He pulls down the top of his pants and boxer shorts to let a cloud of multicolored tears on his hip. "I did it last year. No one's ever seen it. It's always hidden. You'd have seen it eventually. I thought you saw it yesterday. I'm sorry, Paul."

"Uh... should we keep going or should we stop?" Ambre asks softly.

"Oh no, we don't stop for me and my mistakes... anyway, I've got three more drinks and I've won... or lost rather" says Sam.

Sam resumes:   
\- I never ended up at the police station: Emile drank and then laughed, explaining that he was 3 years old and had gotten lost in his borough.  
\- Paul: I never fantasized about a school teacher. Everybody drinks, even Ambre and Sam laughs.  
\- Ambre: I've never kissed anyone without his consent: Emile drinks. Sam smiles as he looks at Paul.

"Uh... Paul? You kissed me without my permission," laughs Sam.

''What? No. I saw it in your eyes."

"Oh, fuck, Paul!" Emile's indignant. "That's what rapists say."

Paul is startled and looks at him.

"Drink!" confirms all his friends.

"Never mind." laughs Paul as he drinks his drink. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"I hope so" whispers Sam in his ear.

"Okay. My turn," says Dimitri. "Sorry, Sam...I've never been kissed without my consent." Paul and Sam drink and swear.

"We have our champion," says Emile.

"Congratulations champion" says Paul in a gloomy voice.

Sam grabs his hand and whispers "I'm sorry."

''Well, you're also the oldest of us,'' laughs Dimitri. ''We've got a year to do something stupid, guys.''

"Thanks, guys. Now my incredibly bad boy boyfriend has a lot to tell me."

Sam puts his head down to look at his sweater "Just the way you are." Doesn't seem enough now. He jumps when Paul's lips touch his own.

"I'm sorry." He whispers against his lips, "I shouldn't have said that."

Sam looks up to see if he's serious. "You don't have to"

Paul shut him up by kissing him.

''I'm sorry. It's your past. You can tell me about it when you're ready. I love you, it doesn't change anything. You're always perfect for me."

''Okay. We wanna know the story behind that sweater" says Ambre, looking at them. 

Sam watches Paul sit behind the piano and laughs. He closes his eyes as soon as Paul's voice comes up. His head spins a little, probably because of all the shots he's had to drink, but he feels incredibly lucky.


	14. Unbelievable

When Sam wakes up, he's still on the couch. He moves his hand to the weight on his stomach and strokes the cheek he finds there.

"Mm-hmm."

Sam was startled when he saw Paul leaning over him. He gets up to look at his belly and discovers Emile's curly hair on him.

"Unbelievable, huh, Emile is really very tactile" Paul concludes, laughing.

Emile wakes up, a little jostled by Sam moving under him.

''Hello lovers.'' he says, stretching.

They get up and find everyone already seated at the breakfast table. They tidy up the living room and the kitchen and at noon everyone leaves and they only find each other again. 

They huddle on the sofa and then move to Paul's room while kissing. Lost in their kisses, they don't even bother to actually close the bedroom door. Anyway, they are home alone.

Their kisses become more and more passionate and Paul takes off Sam's shirt before taking off his own. He moans softly as he touches their two bare torsos against each other. Sam's hands caress his back and he moans as much as Paul does.   
Between them, Sam's phone keeps vibrating but Sam doesn't pay any attention to it. However, this quickly annoys Paul who feels the phone vibrating against his thigh.

''Okay. Answer it." he says, pointing to Sam's thigh with his head.

''Who cares, it can't be important.'' Sam says as he tries to kiss him again.

Paul slips his hand upside down into Sam's pocket and pulls out the phone.

''Who's Annabelle?'' he asks, frowning.

Sam grabs his phone to check and seems really surprised.

The call ends but the phone starts vibrating again almost immediately.

''That's when you tell me she's your girlfriend.'' says Paul trying to laugh, but obviously worried.

''It's my mother.'' Sam says.

"Pick up the fucking phone."

Six missed calls. The phone starts vibrating again and Sam picks it up. Paul gets off him and gets ready to leave his room but Sam grabs his wrist and makes him sit down next to him so he can snuggle up.

"Hello?"

His mother talks so loud that Sam knows Paul can hear everything.

_Samuel? Samuel, is that you?_

"Yeah, it's me." 

_How are you? I've been worried. I called the boarding school this morning. They told me you'd left._

"I'm on vacation. Were you worried? Since when do you worry? I've been fine."

_Where are you now?_

"I'm at my boyfriend's. I'm fine. Very fine."

_What? I thought we were done with all this? If your dad finds out_

That's just me in love. I'm an adult now. I'm fine. You don't have to call me if you don't accept me.

_I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday._

That was yesterday, damn it! 

And he hangs up, tears rolling down his eyes. He looks at his phone but the screen goes dark. 

''I'm really sorry, baby.'' Paul says as he pulls him up to kiss him. 

They crawl onto the bed and crawl under the blanket. Paul hugs Sam as tight as he can. He has to readjust because they're both so tough, but he's not even embarrassed. While kissing him, Sam slips his hand over Paul's boxer shorts and Paul makes him pant while kissing his neck. Paul slides his hand into Sam's boxer shorts and wraps himself around him to caress him. Sam's second hand grabs Paul's ass so that he can hold it tight.

"I want you," Paul whispers softly, kissing Sam's ear, "I want you to take me."

Sam loosens his grip slightly and gently pushes Paul away so he can look at him.

"Make love to me, please." whispered Paul against his lips. 

Sam's smile couldn't be brighter. Paul gets them out of their boxers and changes their position so that they can lie on their backs, with Sam hovering over him.   
Sam kisses him all over his chest and goes down to his dick which he takes completely in his mouth. His hand caresses Paul's buttocks. Paul throws him a bottle of lubricant which he takes out of his drawer. Sam slips it into his hand and caresses Paul before putting a finger inside him. Paul moans immediately. It doesn't take long before he asks for a second one that Sam gives him, while continuing to suck him off. Paul bends back and gently pulls Sam's head back from between his legs to bring it up to his mouth.

''Stop. You're gonna make me come like this."

"That's all right with me, if you want." Sam says before he kisses him.

"No. Come on."

Paul wraps his legs around Sam's waist and hands him a condom. Once it's in place, Sam puts a little lube on and looks at Paul before he kisses him.

"Are you sure?"

"Ready, if you're ready." Paul says, smiling.

"Ready," confirms Sam, "I'll stop any time you want me to.

Paul kisses him, and Sam guides himself to go inside him, as gently as he can. Paul freezes and Sam kisses him all over his face to let him get used to it. When Paul opens his eyes, he smiles and grabs Sam's waist to help him progress slowly.  
They wait a few seconds when Sam hits the bottom, then Paul moves his hips to move Sam backwards. Sam steps back a little before coming back and they moan together before kissing. They kiss during the first few back and forths, but it all quickly becomes too intense. Sam can't concentrate on everything at once. Paul grabs Sam's neck and then bends back and his head hits the headboard with a loud crash. Sam strokes his hair while continuing to come inside him. He lets his head fall into Paul's neck.

"I love you," he whispers softly, "Fuck, I love you." 

Paul can only release a primal growl. He can't even speak anymore. Sam gets up and puts one hand around Paul's dick. Just the touch of Sam's hand on him is enough to Paul comes. He hits his head a second time, moaning. Sam pushes into Paul again before he comes in groaning his name and falls down on him as he slowly withdraws.

''It was... it was...'' Stutters Paul.

''I agree'' breathes Sam as he tries to catch his breath. ''Fucking hell, that was amazing.''

"Just Unbelievable" Paul confirms

Sam gets rid of the condom and throws it in the bin before he goes back to bed with Paul.

It's two o'clock when Lucas and Eliott come home. The house is quiet and tidy. So quiet that they think the boys are out. So when they walk down the hallway and see the bedroom door half open, they are surprised to see the two boys, visibly naked, asleep in Paul's bed, with their clothes scattered all over the room.

"Unbelievable, finally, he looks a bit like us anyway'' laughs Eliott in Lucas' ear.


	15. Bonus

Paul enters in _Mon petit gateau design_. He hasn't really changed much. It's more mature. His hair is black and still brushed. His scar is barely visible, lost in his beard. 

''I'd like to order, Andy'' he laughs and winks.

Andy laughs and waves him into the office.

''Chef, special order.'' Andy says as he looks into the kitchen.

A man stands up in the kitchen and rushes to the door, leaving the pastries he was making. 

''Thank you, Andy. Would you finish the glazing for me and put them in the shop, please?"

"No problem" said Andy before he go to the kitchen.

"Hello, Sam," said Paul, smiling as her husband joined him in his office. "I'd like to place an order..."

Samuel relaxes immediately. Paul doesn't often come to the bakery without warning. Let alone on a Tuesday at 4 p.m. He's a gym teacher at a high school across town. He was afraid of bad news, but from Paul's smile, he knows that's not the case.

''Sure, what's the occasion, baby?''

''For a wedding anniversary. It's Friday. I'd like to put a message on it!"

"I've been thinking about it, Paul," laughs Samuel. "I think about it every year. I wasn't gonna forget about our fifth anniversary, you know." Samuel looks at the office door. ''I'm sorry, baby, I've got work to do. But you'll get your cake, I promise. I've already thought of a new perfume, like I do every year."

"No, wait." Paul says, grabbing his wrist, forcing Samuel to look at him. "I want to put a message on it!"

"Which one?" says Sam, smiling, "2,628,000 minutes? ''

''No. I see you've thought about it.'' Paul laughs. ''Happy birthday and congratulations to the future dads.'' Paul smiles as much as he can.

''I think it's too long, baby. I think I should get two plaques." By the time Samuel connects all the ends, it's 30 seconds. And then he looks at Paul, and he smiles and starts talking in a funny high-pitched voice.

"What? Are you kidding?" Samuel jumps into her husband's arms, and he jumps in place too.

''No, they called, we're gonna be daddies!'' Paul says excitedly. ''They called me about an hour ago. Just enough time to print out the file, tell the director, get off work, and I'm here... Are you ready?"

"Ready, if you're ready!"

Paul pulls a file out of his bag.

''So... they were born in Colombia... this is our son, Aden. It's pronounced Aïden, by the way. He'll be six months old in two days... and this is his sister Abigaile."

"What?!" exclaimed Samuel as he looked at the two photos. "They're giving us two?"

"I don't know if they really say give, Sam, but yes, they're ours. They're our children."

"And?" Samuel asks as he looks at Paul.

"And?"

"If they're entrusting two six-month-old babies to a homosexual couple, there's something... especially since we've only been waiting a year."

"So what?" Paul asks, smiling, "Would you refuse the adoption?"

''You know I wouldn't, silly, it's part of our request. But tell me. I'm sure you've already agreed too."

"I tried," says Paul, "but the agency wants you to confirm that, too."

"So?" asks Samuel again.

"So...they have two arms...two legs...two hearts in top shape and a perfect face" laughs Paul even though he knows it's not funny. "But they're hard of hearing."

"Deaf?" asks Samuel intrigued.

''No or maybe...they do have a hearing problem. We'll know more when they're here with us."

Paul looks at Samuel, who looks at the pictures with his face closed. He puts his hand between his shoulder blades and caresses his back, drawing circles.

''Unless you don't feel ready for that after all. Sorry I got carried away, Sam. If you'd rather wait."

"Are you kidding?" Samuel looks at him, totally amazed. "We have to call the agency now. They're so beautiful. Look, they look so much like you. They're so beautiful. I can't wait to pick up our kids. Colombia, here we come! I can't wait to tell everyone at this. Fuck, I love you, Paul."

"I love you too, Sam."

"You're killing me, you know that! You helped me come to terms with myself and get my name back, and now you're the only one who calls me Sam. You know you're really not possible."

"I just wanna be the only one."

''Now you're gonna have to learn to share me with two cute babies.'' 

''That's right, daddy Sam. Oh, my god, dadds! Here we go."

"That's right, dad."

"Ok, It's so weird to hear you call me that." Paul bursts out laughing and kisses her husband...

Paul's phone starts ringing as they're kissing.

''It's the agency!''

"Pick up the phone, idiot," Samuel said as he grabbed the phone and put it on speakerphone.

''Hello? Paul Demaury?"

"Hello, this is Samuel Demaury. But Paul's there too. He just showed me the pictures."

"Ah! I was sure he wouldn't hang around. Are you still up for it?''

Samuel and Paul look at each other, smile and answer in chorus "Absolutely!".

''Perfect. Can you be available next week?"

''Are you telling us we're going to Colombia in a week?'' asks Samuel to make sure he's not dreaming.

''No. Actually, they're already here in Paris. They were supposed to be adopted by a couple, but the wife just found out her husband was cheating so they refused the adoption at the last moment. But the children were already on the plane. We have 10 days to find a family for them, otherwise we'll have to take them back to the orphanage in Colombia."

Paul looks at Samuel, who nods his head.

''We'll be here tomorrow morning when the agency opens. If that's okay with you."

''Don't you want to take a few days to think it over, or to get the house ready for the babies?''

''Melissa, I have a big family who will be happy to decorate and furnish the house for when the babies come. You tell us that our children are waiting for us, then I confirm, we'll be there tomorrow morning.''   
  
''I'll wait for you at my office in the morning then.''

Samuel leaves the bakery, leaving the keys with Andy, his right-hand man, while Paul calls the school to explain everything. They run up to Paul's childhood home, which is just a few blocks from the bakery. 

''Why are you guys running like that?'' Lucas is surprised when they walk into the kitchen.

''Family reunion'' shouts Paul towards the workshop.

Eliott comes out the next minute, his hands covered in paint. Everyone settles down around the kitchen table and Sam puts his phone in the middle.

Emile picks up the phone at the second ring, "You're lucky I'm on a break, Samuel" he says as he appears on the screen.  
  
''Nurses are always on break, you can tell that'' laughs Paul as he greets her.

Paul calls Elena, who picks up at the first ring. The screen is black but ends up showing Elena half asleep with her head on her pillow. She must have turned on her bedside lamp.

"You're abusing... I just went to bed!"

''What?...it's not 5 o'clock...'' Emile points to his screen, laughing.

''Yes...but when baby sleeps, mommy has to sleep. And baby Josué really doesn't sleep much. He hasn't understood the principle of a holiday...huh my baby?'' And their nephew appears on the screen, all smiling.

"Thanks for waking him up, guys. I can't wait to return the favor! I wouldn't mind."

"That's good," he says, "and Sam and I are leaving tomorrow to pick up our kids!"

"What?!?!?!" yells everyone at the same time.

And Samuel shows the pictures, explains the situation and answers questions. 

The whole family's rushing. Lucas is going to get Josué's car seat. Emile declares that at the end of his shift, he will bring back his son Felix's old car seat and his old clothes.   
And it is completely euphoric that the boys leave with Eliott and Lucas go shopping to buy clothes, toys and childcare equipment.  
When evening comes, the whole Demaury family, along with Emile, Sabrina and Felix, all find themselves setting up two baby bed's at Samuel and Paul's house. Of course, the doorbell starts ringing non-stop, until Samuel opens the door and Mika jumps into his arms.

''My baby kittens are going to have mini baby kittens...''

At 9:00, Samuel and Paul wait impatiently outside the adoption agency door. Mr Samssa welcomes them and suggests they start with the administration. At 10 am, once the papers are settled, she leads them to the nursery of the agency. And there, in the middle of about ten children, mainly babies, Samuel and Paul discover their children. Their cheeks will surely hurt from smiling, but they can't help it. They rename the children Aïden and Abigail, to make writing easier here, but they keep their original first names. 

A week later, they are back home. Samuel and Paul are standing in front of the house, each with a baby in their arms, holding each other by the waist. They smile so much that you can feel the happiness in the photograph taken that day.

''It'' says a male voice as he points to the picture, ''It's the day we were adopted, the day our daddies brought us home. And that's the next day. You recognize my parents. These are my grandfathers Elliot and Lucas. My uncle Emile. You recognize Aunt Elena, Josué's mother. That's is the famous Mika, with Camille. There's Yann and Basile. Daphnée, his wife and their daughter."

"That's Lila, isn't it?"

"Yeah." confirms Aiden.

"She hasn't changed. It's crazy how much Zephyrin looks like her mother!. That's a big family you got. Aïden, are you sure you don't mind me coming to your house unannounced?"

"Of course not. My family's cool. They're a little crazy, too.But they're gonna love you."

"I see where you get it from then!"

"And then if they scream too loud, I'll just unplug my hearing aids, so I can be quiet..."

''That would be really nasty... you know I can't do that. You're already enjoying it a lot in class."

"Hey! You can speak another language with your family. I can stop listening. Each to his own superpower"

"Except you're learning correen and I can't force you to listen to me."

"Don't worry, I can read your lips. Always."

And the two lovers laugh and kiss before entering the kitchen... 


End file.
